Putting emphasis on words in a dialogue

[R.J.]

When I emphasize words/phrases in a paragraph, I usually "write" the words in italics. But when it comes to dialogue, I'm really confused with what to do when a character shouts/screams. Obviously, writing them in italics wouldn't work. I've seen a lot of online writers who write them IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I've tried this once, and it looks awkward to me. So I'm wondering how you guys do this. How do you write those dialogue where your characters are screaming?

[Trab]

Are you planning on writing BDSM? Screaming characters?

Seriously though, I've not written enough to have a 100% trustworthy response to this, except for my experience with reading. I think it is perfectly clear when the author uses descriptive terminology, such as 'screamed', 'shouted', 'bellowed', etc. To me, the only place where it may be justified to use upper case in dialogue is if a particular WORD needs to be emphasised. For example:

"You are a nasty piece of work."

"YOU are a nasty piece of work." Identifying that person as being pivotal.

"You ARE a nasty piece of work." Certifying agreement of you being a nasty piece of work.

"You are a NASTY piece of work." Identifying more clearly that the issue is your nastiness.

[Tanuki Racoon]

When I emphasize words/phrases in a paragraph, I usually "write" the words in italics. But when it comes to dialogue, I'm really confused with what to do when a character shouts/screams. Obviously, writing them in italics wouldn't work. I've seen a lot of online writers who write them IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I've tried this once, and it looks awkward to me. So I'm wondering how you guys do this. How do you write those dialogue where your characters are screaming?

The use of CAPITALS is genereally frowned upon. In the course of about 100,000 words in NEAWMS I used italics about 3 times when I just couldn't find a better way to do it. I am not sure if I used capitals at all. (Though a NO! works well and I do use that)

"Hello," Rad said.

"Hello!" screamed Rad.

"Hello?" asked Rad tentatively.

"Hello," Rad whispered.

There. I've written the SAME THING four times. I'm sure you can tell the difference. Let your writing handle all italics and capitals. Here's another good sentence to show what you can do without italics and capitals and bolding:

"God, you're good in bed," mumbled Rad contentedly whilst picking raccoon fur out of his teeth.

[Cole Parker]

While it sounds very proper to say, don't us all caps, it's sort of sleazy, low-class writing, I've seen it done by good writers. I would agree that a better way to do it is say that someone shouted or emphasized or bemoaned something. Then there's no doubt what emotion your character is emoting, and you don't have to stoop to using upper case letters.

However, and it's a huge however, writers and their writing need to be flexible. What if, for instance, you've just strung a bunch of 'he saids' and 'she complaineds and 'they crieds' together in a row, and now want a statement made without attribution? So you write something like, Jack turned around and saw Mary coming. He was seething with anger. "You BITCH! You left me there, stranded! WITHOUT ANY PANTS!" Now I don't want to modify or weaken that by adding a 'Jack screamed, red in the face.' I want to leave the statement bare and intense and hot. The best way I can think to do that is just as I show it. Using caps. There's no question what they mean, and if you're getting your intent across to the reader, I see no problem with doing it. Occasionally.

I think in much of writing, it's difficult to always obey hard and fast rules, like never use caps to show emotion. I thoroughly agree that one shouldn't rely on it. There are generally better ways. But occasionally we have to be able to write outside of the rule box to create the effect we want.

C

[Tanuki Racoon]

I must concur with Cole*. If you're a good writer you can ABSOLUTELY get away with stuff a neophyte writer can't. But it's better to learn the right way so you learn your skills than lean on them as a crutch. Write without caps. Use them if you can't figure another way to do it.

* as much as it pains me

[colinian]

For some reason this was posted twice with one click on Submit. It also took a very long time to return me to the forum to discover the duplicate post. Any idea what's going on here?

Colin

"God, you're good in bed," mumbled Rad contentedly whilst picking raccoon fur out of his teeth.

EWWWW!

Colin

[colinian]

"God, you're good in bed," mumbled Rad contentedly whilst picking raccoon fur out of his teeth.

EWWWW!

Colin

[Cole Parker]

Very good, Colin!

A perfect use of all caps.

But a disgusting and very disturbing example of the need to.

C

[The Pecman]

I think it's a subjective call. I think both italics and ALL CAPS have to be used sparingly, so that the effect isn't overused.

I don't agree with Mr. Raccoon on this one:

"Hello?" asked Rad tentatively.

To me, you have to be very, very careful about overusing the dreaded adverbs. My own personal rule is, only use adverbs in dialogue when the line is ambiguous. Like:

"Hey, you look great," he said.

vs.

"Hey, you look great," he said absent-mindedly.

or

"Hey, you look great," he said, sarcastically.

Meanwhile, I'm still shuddering at the thought of raccoon fur in one's teeth...

[R.J.]

Wow... thanks, you guys. That helped a lot. So the key words are: use sparingly. Thanks again!

"God, you're good in bed," mumbled Rad contentedly whilst picking raccoon fur out of his teeth.

Rad? Rad who?

Steven

[Trab]

Rad? Rad who?

Who cares? it's all fiction anyway.

[Kapitano]

I can't see anything wrong with using italics in written speech, so long as they're used sparingly.

As for capitals, they lack a certain "respectability", probably partly because some very bad writers overuse them. I can't think of the last time I saw all-caps used for emphasis in a paper novel, but it's common on the net. I'd say, use them if there's no other way - and you may well never be in a situation where there is no other way. So I suppose they're a last resort.

Personally, I think italics are good for showing personality traits of characters, where these traits show up in their intonation patterns, and where it might be laborious to tell the reader what the character is like. Often readers like to work out the personalities of characters for themselves. For example:

"Purple is just so last week" (Valley girl)

"Oh my God! That's just fabulous!" (Screaming queen and/or fashion victim)

"What on earth are you blithering about, man?" (gruff sargeant major)

[Bruin Fisher]

There are generally better ways. But occasionally we have to be able to write outside of the rule box to create the effect we want.

C

I'm with Cole - and most everyone else - on this. You have to know the rules thoroughly, and then you can break them occasionally with confidence. I wouldn't be happy using either italics or all caps for more than a couple of consecutive words. I have been known to use italics, and I have been known to use all caps, but looking back into my stories where I've used them, it's generally been when someone's speaking and I want to convey the inflection of the voice. For instance, "What do you think you're doing?" reads differently than "What do you think you're doing?", and means 'what you're doing is stupid, stop it' rather than 'maybe you are under an illusion, and think you're doing something other than what you're actually doing'.

My two penn'orth

Bruin

[Cole Parker]

I found myself italicizing single words in a sentence a lot when I began writing, and find myself not doing it so much now. I hadn't thought of that until I read the foregoing, but it dawns on me it is true.

I did it for the exact reason Bruin said. I hear dialogue sentences in my head as I write them, and where emphasis was needed, I added it.

With a little more writing maturity under my belt, I don't quite feel the need to do this now as when I started. I don't think this has been a conscious decision on my part to dispense with this guidance for the reader, but instead it just came with experience. I don't really know why I stopped dong it so often--I now only do it very rarely--but it probably has to do with more confidence. With more confidence in my writing, I think I've developed more confidence that the reader doesn't need my help.

But when I started, I tried not only italicizing words to empahsize them, but italicizing them and putting them in bold face. I cringe when I see that now.

C

[Trab]

There is one consideration regarding italics vs capitals that hasn't been addressed, and it may be completely irrelevant: italics requires a formatting change within the document, which will be easily stripped off if the formatting is changed, whereas capitals are not changeable with a formatting change.

[Caylor]

So, Rad, would you say this question got answered, or what? LOL

I've used both in the past.

[The Pecman]

italics requires a formatting change within the document, which will be easily stripped off if the formatting is changed, whereas capitals are not changeable with a formatting change.

Not necessarily. You can select the entire text and just change the font or the size, and the italics and boldface will remain intact.

Also, there are ways to import and export HTML text to and from (say) MS Word, and still retain the formatting. It's a pain in the ass, but it can be done.

Retaining italics was one of the main reasons I had to invest in Dreamweaver, since it has a fairly-foolproof Word-import feature. That way, I can keep some control of formatting my online stories (being the control freak that I am).

[DesDownunder]

So from what you are all saying, did I do something wrong?

In chapter 6 Of my Doors of Love, I have an overheard conversation in italics.

The characters are not visible to the first person narrator, but he can hear them.

It seems to work for me and my editor said nothing about it.

Were there alternatives to help convey that these were overheard voices. or do I not need to worry about that?

Just asking for your thoughts.

[Res Ipsa Loquitur]

Deleted

[Caylor]

So from what you are all saying, did I do something wrong?

In chapter 6 Of my Doors of Love, I have an overheard conversation in italics.

The characters are not visible to the first person narrator, but he can hear them.

It seems to work for me and my editor said nothing about it.

Were there alternatives to help convey that these were overheard voices. or do I not need to worry about that?

Just asking for your thoughts.

Don't worry about. Do it the same way in future if you want. There is no RULE about using emphasis effects. Different writers of different styles in different genres do it different ways. The same authors use different methods in different stories or novels, but always the same method in the same story or novel. Consistency among the related works is all that matters. If you want to pick one way and use it for all your stories, go for it.

I use CAPS to indicate yelling in convos, italics for whispers. Almost always. MS Word for writing, and if I submit it for editing. Sometimes as an html page if I know it's just for nifty. Swapping it around doesn't lose CAPS or italics.

[R.J.]

So, Rad, would you say this question got answered, or what? LOL

I've used both in the past.

Yes. Uh, somewhat. The general consensus so far is that it's okay to use capital letters or italics, as long as they're used sparingly, in that they don't lose their effect with the frequent use.

As a reader, I don't really mind them, and they do enhance my "reading experience". But I found that if I do the same thing when I write, I'm unsure whether I should, because as I have said, it looks awkward to me.

[blue]

Italics can be used sparingly for extra emphasis, but please don't use them for a character's ordinary shifts in tone of voice. If every few words, you have a word italicized, it starts to look sing-song. (That could be used for effect, but it's easy, IMHO, to overdo.)

Phone conversations or dreams/memories or "telepathy" or voices far away can sometimes use paragraphs in italics, which is why I felt it was fine in Des' story.

Bold is a non-standard possibility, and you'll hear pros scream and throw things at you. (I was trained that you never, ever do that, bad typography, oh my.

ALL CAPS are OK for very, very brief, strongest emphasis in text, but you have to use them really well, or they will look amateurish to your readers. (Readers know what looks good and feels right, even if they can't say why.)

If you can do it, small capitals are a better choice. Word sucks at exporting them. Web pages can show small caps, if the browser supports them, one of two ways: either as a text and font property, or by changing the font-size. The first method is preferred. I don't use it much, because up until Firefox 2 and Internet Explorer 7, support was really shaky, and like I said, Word's support sucks for exporting small caps in any format.

The CSS style goes in the <head>...</head> of a web page:

<style type="text/css">

/* other styles */

.small-caps {

font-variant: small-caps;

}

/* other styles */

</style>

Then you apply it on the text you want to be small caps:

<p>Normal paragraph text. <span class="small-caps">Here are a few words in small caps.</span> Rest of the paragraph.</p>

All lowercase letters will be in small caps and all uppercase (capital) letters will be capitals. Specifically, if you want an acronym or abbreviation in small caps, the letters must be in lowercase before the small caps style is applied. (That's true in your word processor also!)

[Kapitano]

Phone conversations or dreams/memories or "telepathy" or voices far away can sometimes use paragraphs in italics, which is why I felt it was fine in Des' story.

Piers Anthony, in one of his science fiction serials, found a way to indicate that communication was coming from some source other than human vocal apparatus - telepathy, creatures that communicate by touch, or by light pulses etc. He used "pseudoquotes".

That is, symbols from elsewhere on the keyboard, pressed into service as quotation marks for things other than human speech. For instance, something like this:

#I don't think you should do that#

I looked up sharply at the words. Surely there wasn't anyone in the room with me? Looking around, there was no one. Disconcerted, I bent over the terminal to resume work.

#I really don't think that's a good idea#

This time I froze. After several long seconds of silence, I called out.

"Who are you?"

Nothing.

"Where are you? What do you want?"

A pause, then... #I'd love to tell you, but I'm not sure I know the answers myself#

"Why isn't it a..."

#...a good idea? Let's just say, I did it once, and then I was here. Wherever here is#

"What's your name?"

#Ah. That's one of the more difficult questions#

Not strictly relevant to the topic, but I thought it was an interesting technique.

[The Pecman]

Italics can be used sparingly for extra emphasis, but please don't use them for a character's ordinary shifts in tone of voice.

I think the only time I use italics in dialogue is if there's a potential ambiguous meaning, and those are rare.

The other exception is character's thoughts, which I do separately from an internal monologue. These topics are covered in numerous books on writing, and the consensus there is usually to keep them to a minimum, though some advise to avoid them completely.

[aj]

Hmm. I don't use all caps, because I view it as sort of a cop out, I guess. I think that the harder way - but ultimately more satisfying for both myself and I hope for my readers as well - is to create that sense of tension and power through word choice and imagery. I suppose it also has to do with the fact that I'm not the yelling kind, in general, and my characters tend to get cold rather than loud.

cheers!

aj