Jump to content
Bruin Fisher

Tryouts

Recommended Posts

Tryouts

If anyone can bring to life an American High School jock coming to terms with his sexuality it's Cole, so it's hardly a surprise to read a new story from him with a protagonist in exactly that situation. In this case he has a wise and supportive father, a wise and supportive best friend and a bunch of bullies at school to deal with and... but to tell you more would be to spoil it for you.

Skilfully crafted as is all of Cole's work, this is a little jewel which is a delight to curl up with. Cole has given us a treat, I strongly recommend it!

Link to comment
Skilfully crafted as is all of Cole's work, this is a little jewel which is a delight to curl up with. Cole has given us a treat, I strongly recommend it!

I concur. I couldn't have said it better.

I honestly don't know how Cole produces so many worthwhile and well written stories. At one point I thought he had a shed full of those rather ubiquitous typewriter tapping monkees, but after reading THIS and THAT I've changed my mind.

Now I've decided that Cole must be an acronym. C.O.L.E = Continual Output of Luscious Entertainment. It's obvious when you think about it. After all, who could afford to feed all those monkees? :smile:

Link to comment
I concur. I couldn't have said it better.

I honestly don't know how Cole produces so many worthwhile and well written stories. At one point I thought he had a shed full of those rather ubiquitous typewriter tapping monkees, but after reading and [url=" I've changed my mind.

Now I've decided that Cole must be an acronym. C.O.L.E = Continual Output of Luscious Entertainment. It's obvious when you think about it. After all, who could afford to feed all those monkees? :smile:

You forgot the rest of it: "Continual Output of Luscious Entertainment: Programmable ARay of a Kaleidoscope of Entertaining Reading."

I wonder who the software engineers are? Obviously not affiliated with Microsoft. Or Apple.

Link to comment

Total agreement with the dancing bear and his feathered friend and erm... that guy in the frozen north.

This story features a young man with real cajones, albeit cute ones, and a new kind of protagonist for a Cole Parker story!

Loved every word of it.

Link to comment

This is a really great story...I wish I had written it. I did send Cole a private message about the story but then I saw this thread and knew I had to say something public.

If he wanted Cole could be a master chef, he certainly knows how to assemble a winning recipe of words. Tryouts contains all the ingredients a reader wants to see in a story about gay youth. The angst of a boy struggling with his identity, the bullies who make his decisions so much harder, and the loving family and friends who embrace his decisions and allow the boy to become the hero in his life.

What a positive message for the young readers who find their way to awesomedude. The story delivers a strong message of support: stand up for yourself and everything will turn out for the best. That is something we all need to stress in our work.

Thanks for the baseball lesson :smile:

Link to comment

I enjoyed this quite a bit. I think a few too many things happen off-camera (so to speak), and only get described in conversation, but I liked what was there. I also think it was a little too easy to get rid of the evil coach and start enforcing the rules... but it's nice to hope a world like this could exist today.

I could actually see this being a novel, a series on the adventures of the kids on this baseball team. Could be an intriguing long-term story.

And I'm far from a sports guy. I think all the little technical terms and side comments really added to the atmosphere, and made me feel like I was right there in the locker room.

If I can make one suggestion: I'd add a scene where the lead kid apologizes to the pitcher for sliding into his face. Even though it wasn't his fault, at least it's a gesture of politeness, as in, "hey, sorry for almost breaking your nose."

Link to comment
I enjoyed this quite a bit. I think a few too many things happen off-camera (so to speak), and only get described in conversation, but I liked what was there. I also think it was a little too easy to get rid of the evil coach and start enforcing the rules... but it's nice to hope a world like this could exist today.

I could actually see this being a novel, a series on the adventures of the kids on this baseball team. Could be an intriguing long-term story.

And I'm far from a sports guy. I think all the little technical terms and side comments really added to the atmosphere, and made me feel like I was right there in the locker room.

If I can make one suggestion: I'd add a scene where the lead kid apologizes to the pitcher for sliding into his face. Even though it wasn't his fault, at least it's a gesture of politeness, as in, "hey, sorry for almost breaking your nose."

Well, actually it was his fault. He laid down the bunt so he could knee the pitcher in the face. It was the only way he saw that was within the structure of the game to get back at the guy for thowing behind him.

But you have some good suggestions. I could see adding some chapters. I know what could be covered. I don't know, however, whether readers would get tired of reading about baseball.

C

Link to comment
I don't know, however, whether readers would get tired of reading about baseball.

C

Ok, here's what you do. Logan quits baseball in disgust after his dad sells his glove to make rent after being canned by the school board - little did he know that Coach Tasker was married to the Mayor's daughter. Then, Logan realizes that his true passion lies in another game. A better game. A truly wonderful game. A game that combines skill, speed, toughness, and emotion.

Hockey.

Since everyone here will see the wisdom in this, you should be able to get another two or three dozen chapters out of the story.

Looking forward to it...

Link to comment

Now gentlemen, play nice.

In answer to your original question, Cole, I would not mind at all reading more about baseball. After all, it is such a thoughtful game; I am sure there is much more to be said, and much more for these boys to learn of life from the experience of playing it.

James

Link to comment
I could see adding some chapters. I know what could be covered. I don't know, however, whether readers would get tired of reading about baseball.

I think you missed a good potential source of conflict: start off with the hostile coach almost being forced to put the kid on the team, and putting him through hell for several weeks. That might've been more interesting than an off-camera incident where the coach was replaced. Maybe this could have been done because the kid's father wasn't able to pull strings at the school commission to immediately go after the coach; maybe it would take several weeks. Maybe the coach wasn't 100% bad -- maybe he was only 60% bad (and tended to make bad decisions). What happened felt a little fast and easy for me -- but it was still possible, so I can't bitch too much.

A sequel wouldn't necessarily have to be about baseball; you've got some great characters there, and it could be more about them and not necessarily about the game. I know what my old pal Keith Morissette would've said: "it was a little too much sun & flowers." I think grief and angst would've been more dramatically interesting -- not necessarily with violence, but just with stress, betrayal, questions, disagreements, injuries, and so on. Aaaa, you know me: I'm always looking for the dark side. :icon_twisted:

I offer no higher praise for another writer's story than to say I thought about the characters for a day or two after I finished reading it, wanting to know more about them, and I definitely had this experience with "Tryouts." The characters definitely stuck with me, and I could really see this continuing for several more stories, even a novel.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...


×
×
  • Create New...