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Gee Whillickers

Dear Diary

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Bradley's Diary - February 14

Mom says it's 'cause I'm only ten, but I don't care, I think Valentine's Day is

the most stupidest holiday ever. I hate it. We had to give out Valentines at

school. All the dumb girls giggled and me and all my friends just rolled our

eyes. My friends and me all agree. Valentine's Day is dumb. Nick said it's as

dumb as donkey turds. We all laughed, especially when he crossed his eyes. Dad

got Mom flowers and chocolates and took her out for dinner. Mom smiled and told Dad

he'd get his present later tonight. Whatever that meant. Dad smiled a lot though

after that, so he must think it'll be a nice present. When they went to dinner they

left Grady to babysit me. Older brothers are the worst babysitters. All he did

was ignore me. Grady's dumb girlfriend Leia came over. Grady gave her chocolates.

Chocolate companies must love Valentine's Day. Then they kept smiling at each

other all the time. Then they kissed. I rolled my eyes and left the room. They

thought that was hilarious. Ha ha, very funny. Grady told me later someday I'd

understand. I hope not. It's all too dumb for words.

Bradley's Diary - February 14

Valentine's Day is stupid. Grady thinks so too. He told me it's the worst holiday

ever. I think he's just mad though because Leia broke up with him last week. I

don't see the problem, now he can eat those chocolates he bought all by himself.

I think it's dumb because it's all mushy. The girls at school kept giving me and

my friends cards and giggling like crazy. Most of my friends think it's dumb too.

Not all of them though. A few seemed to like it. That's weird. I told Grady that

and he laughed and said that makes sense, eleven is a strange age. I don't know what

he meant. It seems a normal age to me. Mom and Dad went out for dinner. Mom said

something about giving Dad a present later. Ewwww!!! I think I know what she meant.

That's so gross!!!

Brad's Diary - February 14

I hate Valentine's Day. I hate it, hate it, hate it! I don't get why half my friends

seem to think it's so cool. They're even giving cards out to the girls. I don't

know how they can do that. There's only one person

I'd give out a Valentine to, and he's... I'd never give out

a Valentine. I spent the whole evening in my room playing LfDIII. I was home by

myself. Grady took Leia out to some dance and Dad took Mom to dinner. I tried calling

Nick to see if he wanted to come over but he said he was going to Shelley's place

for dinner. I don't know why he'd want to do that. I'm so bored. This is such a dumb

holiday. It really should never have been invented, that way I'd never have to think

about...never mind.

Brad's Journal - February 14

Middle school sucks at the best of times. Middle school at Valentine's sucks donkey

balls. Really. I didn't go to the dance. Not that anyone dances anyway. But there's

no way I was going there, I'd just feel even more weird, if that's even remotely

possible. Dad says it's because I'm thirteen and shy. Oh, Dad. If you only knew. But

you never, ever, will. I'll make sure of that to my dying day, and that's a promise.

Grady phoned me from college and asked if I had a girlfriend. I mumbled a no. Then

he was quiet for a minute, and then started to ask something else, but then he changed

his mind and asked me if I saw the game on TV last night. I almost hung up on him. I think

I know what he was going to ask. I really hate Valentine's Day.

Brad's Journal - February 14

I punched Nick today. He deserved it. Him and his friends were bugging me, asking if

I was going to the dance. I was sitting at one of the small tables at lunch, all alone,

like always. He was sitting with a bunch of his jock friends at the next table. I think

Nick guessed I wasn't going to the dance. Not that it's a surprise or anything. Then he

smirked and asked, real loud, if I couldn't get a date. Then he asked, real loud, if I

was a fag. So I punched him. Not real hard, and he deserved it. But I feel awful all

the same. No teacher saw, and Nick just looked surprised and turned away from me. I

doubt it, but I kinda think he looked slightly guilty for a second. He didn't tell a

teacher or anything. So I got away with it. But I still feel horrible. And he's right,

of course. Not that he knows that. But fuck, I hate my life. Mostly, I hate Valentine's

Day.

The Journal of Hell - February 14

I skipped today. Now I'm grounded. Dad was furious. He asked me why, he said I never

do that. He thinks I'm some delinquent or something now. So he grounded me, and said I

couldn't go to the dance. He says I'm fifteen now, and need to be thinking of my future,

of my marks and stuff to get into a good college. So, I'm grounded. Funny thing is,

he did me a favor. He just doesn't know it. Now I have an excuse to not go. Marissa

is probably going to be pissed, but whatever. She asked me, and I only said yes because

Nick and his buddies were watching. It's such bullshit. I really hate this. I really

hate Valentine's Day.

Bradley's Diary - February 14

Today was the absolute weirdest day of the absolute weirdest school year. I don't

believe it. I'm still vibrating. Nick was hilarious. He was trying so hard, and he

kept crossing his eyes to make me laugh. He's been trying to set me up with dates for

the dance all week, but I kept saying no to every guy he pointed out. I had to reassure

him when he thought I was mad at him again. After he came over at the end of summer,

all apologetic and miserable, I ignored him for two solid months. He didn't give up though,

and kept trying every single day, until I figured he wasn't trying to trick me or

something. Then I found out about what happened to his cousin...and well...I knew he

was genuine. Poor Nick. Anyway, Nick convinced me to go to the dance anyway, even though

I didn't have a date. I finally gave in, and went. There I was, leaning against the wall,

and Nick walks up with Steven Marks in tow. Steven was looking all scared and panicky

and wide-eyed and adorable. If he only knew how I wanted to give him a Valentine's card

when we were twelve. Then, Nick looks at me, and says that Steven wanted to ask me

something. Steven blushes all cutely, looking at the gym floor, mumbles, then finally

asks me if I want to dance. I picked my jaw up off the floor, eventually, and somehow

a minute later there me and Steven were, dancing, and grinning like fools at each

other. Then, he walked me home. Then, wonder of wonders, he kissed me. Steven

Marks kissed me!! I walked in the house all glowing and grinning. Dad took one look

at me and laughed. Then for the second time that night my jaw hit the ground. Dad

asked who the lucky guy was that had me all glowing. I blinked stupidly at him, but

he just said I could stop trying to fool my old man, and that he loved me and was

happy that I had a good time. I went upstairs and then talked with Steven on my

cell for an hour before bed. Holy shit, I just love Valentine's Day.

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