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DesDownunder

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Blog Entries posted by DesDownunder

  1. DesDownunder
    As most people know I am an insomniac except when I am asleep.
    It is not unusual for me to slip into bed at 4, 5 or even 6 am.
    Snuggled safely in bed alngside the boyfriend, I eventually drift into the land of dream boys.
    So it seems, does the boyfriend!
    I went to bed at 3 am this morning and was laying there waiting to fall to sleep, when suddenly the b/f stopped snoring and began making wild noises. His arms and legs flurried in all directions. The bed covers fell to the floor in fright.
    His elbow landed in the middle of my chest as his hand hit me in the mouth.
    He sat up in bed. I felt my chest and then my mouth.
    "Are you awake," I asked with a calmness that surprised me as I checked with my tongue to see if I had lost any more teeth.
    "I was dreaming," he said, "I dreamt I was chasing Tom Cruise."
    Now this came as a shock. I made no reply. He didn't usually go for Tom's type. Silence replaced our dreams.
    Finally I spoke into the darkness, "Did you at least think I was Tom?"
    "No, no." He replied, "I dreamt he had broken into our house and was robbing us. So I chased him out of the house."
    "My hero," I said. He giggled that same cute giggle he has been using ever since I met him.
    "What the hell could we have that Tom doesn't have better?" I asked, "Why would he want to steal from us?"
    "I don't know, I just chased him out the door." said the b/f. "It was only a dream."
    "I'll move out if you want him to move in," I said, sadly.
    "Don't be #f%&(* stupid. I'm going back to sleep," he said as he rolled over.
    I am wide awake.

  2. DesDownunder
    So did y'all miss me? Did ya?
    Didn't even know I was gone, I bet.
    Yesterday at about 2.30 pm. I was getting ready to go give lover boy his coffee break when there was an almighty rumbling and scraping noise form outside the house. It sounded just like the iceberg cutting into the side of the Titanic.
    I looked out the window, but I couldn't see an iceberg in the street, or even a bulldozer. Did I imagine it?
    So I go outside and the first thing I notice is that the overhead power cables are resting on the lower branches of the trees.
    Then I look around and I see it. A flying saucer has landed on the roof of the house...err scratch that, what I actually saw was the 30 foot power pole bent over at about 35* from perpendicular. This is no light weight power pole. It has three extensions for two sets of high tension cables as well as normal voltage and telephone lines. All the cables dangling or dipping precariously into the trees.
    Off in the distance is a smallish tray-truck. I go over to the truck. The driver is on the mobile phone reporting to the police.
    He is about 25, light brown hair closed cropped. His bottom lip protrudes with a sexy fullness from his dimpled chin; his jaw aching to get off the phone and start nibbling on my...I have an sex attention span difficulty which is not helped by his glowing blue eyes framed by his boyish arched eyebrows and upturned nose. Sigh.
    He hangs up the phone. "Are you okay?" I ask, although I have already determined that he is indeed very okay.
    "I'm fine and I can't see anything wrong with the truck."
    Sure enough, the truck doesn't even seem to have a scratch, but he knows he hit the power pole.
    He walks around the truck, grinning a sexy wide mouthed smile that reveal petite, perfect teeth. I guess the smile is from embarrassment, rather than flirting with me or even thinking that the whole situation is funny.
    I watch the way his khaki overalls flow and follow the contours of his lithe young body, whilst my eyes do their best to X-ray them.
    Finally he stops, his hands on his hips, causing his biceps to expand, "I have to go," he says, "the police said they will have a look later." So he mounts his truck (sigh, lucky truck) and drives off. I note his number plate.
    Knowing our overworked police I go back into the house and ring the electricity supply company who promises to send a crew straight away. I leave to go give the beloved one his coffee break.
    ***Time passes***
    Three hours later, (it was a long coffee break), I return home and find the street is covered in emergency vehicles. On the roof of my house is the young truck driver threatening to jump to his death if I do not marry him...err, oh, alright, that is not quite right. The driver is only in my mind and the electric company workers are very busy with cranes and ladders and lift trucks dismantling the lines so they can replace the pole.
    Wow! I exclaim.
    "It's going to be awhile before we can restore power," one of the workers tells me, "Probably around midnight."
    Okay I think to myself that means I can have a sleep and go online at midnight--no problem. Then he drops the bombshell.
    "Before you can have power back you will need to get an electrician to make some repairs," he tells me, "as your service pipe is snapped off at the base."
    "My service pipe is snapped off at the base? I had better go to the emergency room." He walks off muttering something about everyone being a bloody comedian.
    To cut a long story short, they didn't finish till 5am and my electrician didn't arrive till 7.30am. Then I had to wait till midday for the supply company to plug in the service fuses.
    In the meantime the young truck driver was only visible in my dreams, which meant I did not sleep very well at all.
    I of course, have missed you all very much and am launching civil litigation proceedings against everyone who has caused me to be off line for over 20 hours.
    I would sure like to sue the pants off a certain young truck driver. That would make for a satisfactory compensation.
  3. DesDownunder
    A local news magazine reported that a poetry reading group in Adelaide was having some issues with a person who wanted to read what some people regard as porn.
    Now I should explain that this poetry reading group has been around since the 1970s, but because I have been a shift worker and an avid supporter of whatever free time I have should be devoted to getting my rocks off, rather than reading poetry, I have never attended their meetings.
    However my recently awoken interest in poetry (caused by Awesome Dude) and the story itself piqued my interest, so I went to their monthly meeting last night.
    What a group of lefties. So that's where the left went. Of course there were a few representatives of the right, but in the spirit of live and let live they were heard with polite applause or giggles sniggers or even a roll of the eyes.
    The porn fellow was most uninteresting, but many thought he should be heard as they did not want to introduce thoughts of censorship into the meeting or the group itself.
    Freedom of expression and all that was protected with the usual cries of defending the rights of people to be heard. He was given the last slot of the evening to read his stuff, so people could leave if they didn't want to hear him.
    I read two of my poems published in AwesomeDude Forums and Codey's World. No one batted an eyelid, and I received a lot of applause and pats on the back for my efforts.
    I of course took the opportunity to plug AD and CW. So Dude and Codey can expect a few new visitors at the sites.
    All this brought my mind to realising how stimulating it was to read my poems and listen to others.
    There was over a 150 people at the meeting.
    I cannot begin to explain how great it was to be in room of inspiring and aspiring poets. Good bad and indifferent poems were read and all were accorded polite or enthusiastic reception.
    So Guys I recommend you find a local poet's group read your stuff, promote CW and AD if you can, and you may well find yourself inspired to write more.
    And yes there were some very cute guys there, who knows your next lover may be a poet.
  4. DesDownunder
    I opened my email and there was an email from a reader who told me he enjoyed reading one of my stories.
    Hallelujah!
    Apart from my beloved co-inhabitants at Codey's World and Awesome Dude, that means I now have two readers who sufficiently liked my story to email me.
    (dances merrily around the room.)
  5. DesDownunder
    So I have sent in my contributions to the AwesomeDude Fools Call.
    Then discovered I had sent a wrong file.
    Replaced the file, then discovered several typos that evaded my detection during the numerous proofing sessions. Yikes!
    If you want to find all the errors, typos, misdemeanors, and assorted illiteracies in you story, nothing is of more assistance than posting it where the rest of the world can see it.
    Oh, the shame of it all.
    A friend of mine says he proofs by reading his work backwards???
    I find it helps if you have a sleep, then proof it by setting the viewing screen larger so the fonts seem larger.
    The trouble with proofing is that as I am also the author I keep finding little embellishments or sub-subplots to add or alter.
    So I guess the answer is to offer a prize to readers who pick up any faults or errors.
    I think I will offer to sleep with anyone pointing out errors in my work; In my case that should stop any criticism at all.
  6. DesDownunder

    (11) My turn

    By DesDownunder,

    First the computer plays up, now I feel like a zac's (5 cents) worth of shit.
    Actually a Zac was a threepenny piece in the old days before decimal currency.
    Yep, Australia had a silver coin worth three pennies. (I told you, we were a bit strange.)
    It was about 5/16 inch that's 8mm in diameter. That's the size of the coin people. (Jeez, I can't say anything can I?
    We used to lose them all the time. I almost lost as many of those coins as the number of times my partners thought I lost my virginity. (It was the 1960s after all. We didn't have much else to do back then.)
    Anyway I think I have some flu bug or something. Wait, I feel better since I logged into the web.
    Must be the Awesome powers of the Dude.
    Tune into my next entry when I will reveal the secrets of my experience with a farthing. A what?
    Check out the great stories in A Writer's Challenge at the Codey's World Forum
    All entries are now in and awaiting your vote.
    Ronyx has posted chapter 9 of The Mask at The Mustard Jar
    Do read it and email him with your thoughts.
    In fact don't forget that all the authors really like to hear from their readers.
    It only takes a moment do. Come on do it now. Hit the comment button and let me know how much you love me. You don't love me? ok ,tell me that too.
  7. DesDownunder
    At my advanced years, even though I don't feel that old on Mondays and Fridays, I am wondering what I can do to help the world come to terms with gay marriage.
    So I thought I could start a gay marriage counselling service for straight people.
    Make that straight men. Someone else can help the women. I haven't a great deal of hands on experience with lesbian sex.
    Anyway back to my get rich quick scheme. I think I should make a charge for the service, afterall I have been subjected to some pretty nasty homophobic taunts due to straight guys not understanding about the gay lifestyle.
    I read in the press that straight guys have said they do not understand gay marriage or why gay guys would want to get married.
    Sooo I thought to help out, for a small fee, I would be willing to show straight guys why gays get married.
    I could counsel them on many of the benefits of two guys being married.
    You know, the fact that guys, want it when guys want it. No more "Not tonight dear, I have a headache."
    Instead they would learn about gay guys aching from getting head all night long.
    I could demonstrate for my clients how only a gay guy knows how to...and to....as well as cook breakfast.
    I think I could do a really good deal for colleges on gay semenars. ( no I didn't misspell that.)
    Of course private counselling would cost more depending on the depth of information the client wanted to go in for.
    I wonder if I could get a James Marsden look a like to help with the demonstrations.
    Mature age excellence in all matters of gay marriage. Buy one get two. (must be used on the same night).
    But that's not all. Order your special one on one gay marriage counselling for straight guys now, and get a free set of matching condoms with your favourite guys initials embroidered on them.
    Don't be the last one in your street to know about the joys of gay marriage.
    I'm exhausted. I need to lay down on the bed...
    Damn, the sheets need changing again.
  8. DesDownunder
    So there I am bored off my face waiting for a customer to come in to our video store. It's my partner's store really, I just give him coffee breaks.
    Finally a middle aged woman comes in, briskly walking to to the counter.
    "Hi," says I.
    "I am after a video.' she says.
    "We have those.'" I say.
    She looks at me quizzically, but decides to press on, giving my sanity the benefit of her doubt.
    "It's a special video," she announces.
    "You're in the right place. All our videos are special." I tell her.
    Her eyes widen. "It has Michael Caine in it."
    I look at her blankly.
    "And Sean Connery." she adds.
    "I want to hire, "The Man Who Would Be King." she says.
    "I want the man who would be a Queen," I say.
    She waits a moment, raises her left eyebrow with disdain and asks, "This is not a Blockbuster store is it?"
    "No it isn't and they don't have the movie," I tell her as I pull the DVD off the shelf and hand it to her.
    "Oh you have it." she says , looking at the cover.
    "So I have been told." say I.
    "How much is it?' she asks.
    "I don't charge," I tell her, "Oh you mean the movie? To buy or rent?"
    "To rent." she says but I am not a member here.
    "Well you have to join up to rent it." I say.
    "I'm a member at Blockbuster." She says.
    "I guessed that." I say, "You will need to fill out the application form. Do You have your driver's licence for identification?"
    "Yes," she says.
    "We will need a cheque for ten thousand dollars along with your details of tonight's dinner menu."
    She looks at me, then bursts out laughing hysterically, just as my partner returns from his coffee break.
    He takes over, looking daggers at me.
    He is much quicker at this sort of thing than I am.
  9. DesDownunder
    I made some scones tonight.
    The supermarket donuts have taken a turn for the worse,
    So I made the scones.
    I used the oven to bake them.
    The boyfriend said the donuts were making him feel ill,
    So I made scones.
    Now I suppose the scones will make him feel ill too.
    He has been eating donuts for breakfast for ten years.
    He suddenly blames them for making him feel ill.
    Personally I think he has caught my cold.
    But the donuts got the blame for him feeling ill.
    I made scones.
    This blog entry will be entered into the most inane blog entry competition.
    The first prize will probably be a plate of scones,
    or donuts.

  10. DesDownunder
    My sense of smell has returned; I can smell the donuts again.
    I can always tell when I am getting better after a bout of the flu' or a cold etc,
    I start to feel myself again. - (You people have one track minds!)
    I also start to feel like feeling the boyfriend again.
    So I told him at breakfast I was feeling better.
    "Anyone I know?" he asked.
    I looked at him. This was unusual, the b/f cracked a joke in the morning, before he finished eating his donuts too.
    It usually takes him all day to work up to a joke.
    Wait a minute, that's the clue, he's not making a joke.
    "Oh I am sorry," I say, "but I have been sick, and I didn't want to give you my cold.
    erm...How long is it since we..."
    "Nearly two weeks," he says looking down at the donut on his plate with almost a lusty stare.
    "Two weeks? Two weeks! oh you poor dear, you must be ready for experimenting with inanimate objects."
    "Oh No. It is alright, I have you." he says with just the faintest flicker of humour in his gorgeous brown eyes.
    "I'll make it up to you, or you can make it up..."
    "That would be nice," he says.
    Nice, nice? Since when has our unbridled excursions into celebrating the meaning of love, been nothing more than "nice?"
    I have my work cut out for me. I'll do the romantic dinner thing tonight, and then a hot tub followed by a lot of cuddling while we watch a movie and then..."

    Okay it is the next morning.
    We both fell asleep in front of a very boring movie.
    Breakfast is looking back at us again. Hot donuts look very tempting at the moment.
    "Tonight?' I ask.
    "Tonight!" he affirms.
    "Tonight, tonight
    I'll see my love tonight.."
    I love the smell of donuts in the morning.

  11. DesDownunder
    It's been a month since I had the time to write a note in here.
    My new duties as admin for the Forums have absorbed some of my free time, but mostly I have been down with a bug.
    I would give a description of its symptoms but I don't want to put you off your next meal.
    I went to the doctor who assured me I wasn't dying yet. "When?" I asked.
    "How the hell should I know?" he replied.
    "Well you are the doctor."
    "I am as old as you," he told me, "I don't know anymore than you do."
    "That's scary," I mumbled.
    "What?" he asked.
    "That's what I want to know. What are we going to do about this bug?"
    "I think you are almost over it. Go get some sleep."
    "Sleep? I've been asleep for two days now."
    "Sleep is good." He said as seemed to waver in his chair.
    "Are you okay Doctor? You look a little green."
    "I don't feel well, 'he said.
    "Where?" I asked.
    "Where, what?"
    "Where don't you feel well?"
    "All over. I feel like I am going to barf."
    "Barf! Is that a medical term?"
    "It's as good as any."
    "Should I get a bucket or a bowl?"
    "What for?"
    For a doctor he sure can be dumb.
    "So you can barf into it."
    "I'm not going to barf. I just need to sleep. I think I will take the rest of the day off."
    "What about the patients?"
    "You were the last one," he announced as if the Apocalypse had just commenced.
    "Lock the door on your way out will you? I gotta get some sleep. I'm going home to bed."
    I watched somewhat astounded as he got up and left the room.
    I quickly followed, turning out the lights and pulled the door to lock behind me.
    The doctor was getting into his car. He turned and looked at me.
    "You should get some sleep yourself." He started his car.
    "Do you mean we should sleep together, at last?" I called out to him.
    "Don't make me barf," he yelled as he backed out of the driveway.
    "Thanks," I called back to him, "that hasn't helped me feel good at all!"
    He beeped his car horn and drove away.
    Oh well he didn't charge for the insult.

  12. DesDownunder

    Australia Day 2009

    By DesDownunder,

    Here are my Australia Day thoughts, inspired by the ongoing debate about whether Australia should or should not drop its ties with the English monarchy and become a republic in its own right (or hopefully of the Left.) Some of the the thoughts and phrases may seem strange to those not intimate with Aussie custom.
    Becoming an Australian republic is not a simple matter of deciding to abandon the monarchy. This was one of the main reasons the public rejected the last proposal for Australia to become a republic; no one could inspire the people to believe that a republic offered anything superior to the present form of government.
    Looking at the various alternatives for self government, throughout human history and we should see that all of them are fraught with dangers of corruption and manipulation for the benefit of the few, rather than the many.
    Many republics have grown from the overthrow of a dictator or from some form of revolution against the oppression of the people.
    Post revolutionary America and France both took great pains to devise their democratic republics to guard as much as possible against control and manipulation of the people by dictators, oligarchs, and other assorted forms of tyranny. Neither have succeeded completely, but neither have they completely failed.
    The English monarchy has served its people as a democracy quite well, but is it truly fair to the Royal family for them to be thrust into their regal position at birth? It can be argued that they are well compensated, but can any amount of compensation really replace the freedom to which we all aspire.
    The simple model placed before the Australian people previously was reasonable in removing the monarchy whilst preserving the democratic model on which our government is presently constructed. Yet this was rejected by the Australian population. Why? Are they waiting for a revolution? Does that mean we are not revolting enough to want to adopt a republican model for our democracy?
    It is here that we should be drawn to discussion by our thinkers, our artists, and our indigenous people, for they can teach us about sharing.
    Australia offers more opportunity than any other place on Earth, for a people to develop a multi-cultural society which expounds harmonious relationships, not just through tolerance, but through acceptance of the differences between people, and indeed by encouraging the divergent natures of humankind's creativity in all its varieties.
    We don't have to fight a revolution here; we don't have to overthrow some despot, before we can build our republic of fairness and harmony.
    But it is also true to say that if we allow the opportunity to languish in the mimicry of even the most successful previous republics, born as they were from revolution, then we will have abandoned our Australian way of life to be an imitation of their ideals and not ours. We will have missed the opportunity to be ourselves as fair-minded Aussies, even though we come from everywhere on the Earth. We will have missed the chance to show the world that all humankind can live in peace with each other.
    But most of all we will have revolted against the chance for our own republic, a republic that could enshrine the meaning of giving the other bloke, "a fair go!"
    We don't need to have a revolution to form a Republic of harmony, acceptance and Love; we just need to give it a go.
    Happy Australia Day.
    Advance Australia Fair. This is the long version of our national anthem, watch it at your peril, I quite like it.
  13. DesDownunder
    I clicked on the computer link and it began its down-loading
    I okayed this and that and read it was all installing
    So now do I sit and wait or do I go a-calling?
    What am I supposed to be doing
    With this Yahoo Messaging?
    It is very puzzling,
    This YIM-ing,
    Thing.


  14. DesDownunder
    Setting aside (at last - sort of) the woes of my days,
    I am delighted to report that I have had my evil ways,
    With the computer software installation,
    And set it up for minimal infestation,
    By wanderers of Trojan harms
    So I am alerted with many alarms,
    To all attempts of corruption
    Of my new toy.
    I seem to have run out of rhymes,
    Because I am having the best of times.
    Whose blog is this anyway?
    Should I run away,
    Before I am found out,
    and beaten to a pulp.
    There it happened again
    No more rhyming,
    So I will abstain,
    from trying,
    Wow is this ever insane? I'll,
    Stop now before I became banal.

  15. DesDownunder
    Like all good video stores we have members who insist on showing us how well they can scratch the DVDs.
    I have wondered if the opposition actually pays people to borrow from us and use the discs as Frisbees for the dog.
    Off course it is likely in our rich area (where the shop is, not where we live, we live in the slums on the other side of town; (of course, we are poor white gay males in case you hadn't guessed)), anyway as I was saying, it is likely that these rich folk don't even know what a DVD does, they think it is pretty silver flat plate for serving the hors d'oeuvres, which my father always called "horse doovers," but that is beside the point.
    What led me to thinking this, was the disc that was returned today covered in spaghetti and the remains of either a pizza or someone's stomach contents, or both. The amazing thing was, that after I washed the disc there were no scratches on it -not a one. Perhaps spaghetti vomit is an excellent DVD polisher. Yes? No? Damn, that is going to take quite a bit of research.
    Unlike many stores we don't limit our customers to the nearby suburbs. We rent to anyone from anywhere. We even have a couple of members in the US. They visit Addle-aid every year on business or to see relatives, probably to make sure they are still alive. (It is hard to tell if Adelaidians are alive without actually watching them move about the room.)
    Anyway one of our US members walks in and in that delightful American drawl, announces that he remembered to pack his membership caahd!
    "Ah just had to borrow some more of your Aussie dinkum movies. Did I say that right?" he asks.
    "Not quite," I tell him, "the phrase is, "fair dinkum Aussie," not Aussie dinkum, but it's okay, we get what you mean."
    "Fair dinkum Aussie," he repeats, "Got it!" And he wanders off to make his selection.
    Shortly after and while he is still in the store, another visitor, this time from interstate walks in and wants to know if he can borrow a DVD. I check out his driver's licence and he is from a Sydney suburb. He has that typical golden surfer boy look that is so common in Sydney, and I checkout more than his licence, until his friend (another sun-tanned beauty), yells out to him, "Hey they got fag movies in here."
    Together the two of them descend on the Gay and Lesbian movie section and guffaw loudly at the advertising slicks on the DVD boxes.
    One of our regular customers overhears these two and comes over to the counter and asks me if I would like him to throw the two guys out of the shop.
    I tell him no, because if they keep looking at the Gay films they might ask me if I know anything about them and I can offer to show them in the store room. The customer bursts out laughing, which causes the now unusually large number of foreign looking customers to look at him.
    Suddenly I realise what has happened. It is raining outside and the visitors to the state who have come to see our world famous (yeah right) car race have all decided to get a movie for the night.
    "Do ya have any racing movies?" asks a dark skinned Latin, petrol head from South America.
    "Have you seen Fast and Furious?" I ask him.
    "Is it good?" he wants to know.
    "Sure, I say, "It's just like my sex life." hint, hint.
    "You Aussie peoples are so funny," he answers with a wink. (He winked at me! Yes! and it was all I could do to restrain myself from jumping over the counter and letting him have his way with me, but I restrained myself. I pointed to the action/thrills section which was alongside the gay section still being examined by the two surfer boys from New South Wales.
    There are moments in the life of a video store that brighten the owner's day. The following is one or two of such instances of opportunity that presented themselves.
    A middle aged couple, obviously from out of town because they were of good humour, approached the counter, where the woman asked in a loud clear voice, "Can I join with my husband?"
    I looked over the top of my glasses at her and said just as loudly, "Well we don't usually allow that sort of thing in the store."
    There was a deathly silence for a few seconds until her husband began laughing, the American guy went into hysterical guffaws, only to be joined by everyone else in the store.
    "Oh," said the woman after stopping her own laughter, "I just have to be a member of this store."
    I smiled and said in my most polite voice, "Of course you do, madam." She giggled.
    The two lads fingering through the gay selection were also laughing and chatting with the hot Latin looking guy.
    The Latin guy had decided to watch the Fast and Furious movie, and placed the box on the counter. I got his DVD for him, but when I returned to the counter, the two bronzed surfer types have also placed not one, but two gay movies on the counter.
    The Latin guy tells me he will pay for them all, and the two lads' bronzed faces are blushing red. They leave together to research what I suspect (hope) will be fast and furious international gay relationships. Who knew?
    I just hope they don't scratch the DVDs in the process.
    What a day.
  16. DesDownunder
    In case anything happens I don't want people to get a shock, so I am herewith advising you all that, being considerate of the beloved one sleeping, I got dressed in the dark this morning. Yeah I know me getting up before the crack of noon is in itself shocking, but hey, I went to bed early at 1.30am.
    To return to the advanced notification, when I got dressed in the dark I put my boxer-briefs on inside out. If that wasn't bad enough they are also on back to front.
    Now, no less an authority than my mum, told me that if you put an article of clothing on inside out, it was good luck; but bad luck if it you corrected it.
    So in case anyone reading this tries to have their way with me, please be forewarned that I am not making some new kind of fashion statement by wearing my undies this way.

  17. DesDownunder
    So is it New year yet?
    I guess it must be. We have had our usual spate of arrests and murders and other various activities that the local peasants seem to think is necessary for the celebration of the Earth having completed yet another orbit around the sun.
    Some of them don't believe in that though, which makes me think of what it must mean to be so obsessed by a belief that others have to be subjected to it, beyond, in some cases, any semblance of validity.
    Such things were not foremost on my mind however when at 11.52 pm I crawled into bed, several hours ahead of my usual bedtime and looked at the man of my nightmares, I mean dreams, definitely my dreams, who was watching a DVD movie of no great worth except to act as nightmare fodder for someone else.
    "Whatcha doin'?" he asked.
    "Helping you watch the movie." I answered.
    "Oh." he replied. "I can stop it if you want."
    'If I want to what?"
    "It is hot!' he said
    "So it is," I confirmed for him.
    ****
    I believe we were thinking the same thing, that is, we had the same beliefs. At least they seemed similar.
    Some people do not seem to understand how important it is to allow other people to have beliefs that conflict with their own.
    They seem to be obsessed by some primitive neanderthal necessity to want others to think as they do.
    Well that might have been necessary when we lived in tribes or in caves. You know when our ancestors clubbed each other to death out of fear of the differences between one tribe and another; or over claims that cavemen from one cave were better than cavemen from another cave. It was a time when they could not explain things like lightning or wind or rain or fire. The Sun revolved around the Earth which was flat. You could be burned at the stake for saying you believed otherwise.
    Today on this the first day of a new year, actually it is the second because I was busy yesterday, it occurs to me that we no longer need to worry about what others believe, provided each of us does not try to club anyone else into submitting to their beliefs.
    It is not beliefs themselves that cause problems. What creates the problems is when we allow our beliefs to dictate what we do, without recourse to reason, common sense and human compassion.
    In short when my actions are the result of my beliefs, I should make sure that I do no harm to others or their right to believe what they will. I would ask only that they grant me the same courtesy.
    Now that for me, would be civilised.
    ***
    By 12.07 am New years day, the boyfriend and I had confirmed the compatibility of our beliefs by having them in a rather uncivilised way, but very full of human com-passion, for a whole year from 2007 to 2008. It was a great year even though it only lasted fifteen minutes.
    May you all have a splendid 2008 with many happy 15 minutes or longer.

  18. DesDownunder
    It is that time of the year in Adelaide, where the sun sets
    in a glorious spray of vivid gold and red colours
    that fluoresce the clouds to match the source of their brilliance.
    In the East a near full moon, almost too bright to behold
    is already visible in the pale grey sky soon to be
    the dark blue and black of night.
    The air is still, not even a breath a wind.
    The sky hangs it palest blues before they change
    to green and pinkish yellows as the sun disappears.
    Clouds float and change their clothing for the approaching night.
    The night air, not cold nor hot wraps its warmth around me.
    Stars arc the Earth's night sky as if watching us, watching them.
    And it is all reversed in the early morning as that magic
    that was West is now in the East and dawn matches twilight
    with the eerie silence of the sun's intensity. The night fades to day.
    The stars I watched for hours I can no longer see,
    but I know they are there.
    We call this our Indian Summer.
    Is it any wonder I do not sleep?
  19. DesDownunder

    Happy New What

    By DesDownunder,

    Have you ever noticed ho difficult it is to have a happy new year when the rest of the world seems to have gone stark raving mad?
    Perhaps it is just me, perhaps I have caught some dreaded mental malady that makes me think the rest of the world is bonkers when it is really me that has gone psycho in January.
    I can tell you I wasn't too happy about Uganda passing laws to execute homosexuals, and my straight friends weren't impressed that if straight people know a gay person, then they have to report them to the Ugandan authorities or face 7 years jail.
    Meanwhile back in Adelaide the government has passed a bill forcing DVD stores who rent or sell R18+ (Restricted classification by the Australian Federal Government) to display the R rated movies in a separate area from all the other DVDs. Note: R18 movies are not porn as such, we have XXX rating for porn which means they are automatically banned and can't be sold or rented to the public in any states, except in Canberra, where the politicians live when Federal parliament is in session.
    Then there is the delightful news that Ireland has passed a blasphemy law, which means if you blaspheme in Ireland you can be fined upto 25,000 Euros (approx. $35,000.)
    I can't sleep and if I do sleep I keep dreaming about straight people being jailed because they know some gays.
    Then I have a nightmare about gay penguins being executed in Uganda, or gay anything being executed anywhere, for that matter, just because they are gay. Haven't we suffered enough for these crackpot zealots thinking they can control nature? Let alone the hole Human Rights issue of being able to love whom you wish. (Consenting adults only please, and only in the designated R-rated section, no XXX stuff, thank you.)
    I am not worried about Ireland so much, the Atheist Ireland group have published a list of 25 blasphemies in the hope of getting arrested. (They are Irish, and I love them for that.)
    I woke up in sweat and almost screaming about the loss of human rights. Am I taking all this too personally, do you think?
    After all I live in Australia and I'm not going to Ireland or Iran or Uganda. It's bad enough having to leave the house and do the weekly shopping. You only have to look at a little old lady and she screams "Help." Heaven help me if I look at her pet dog.
    Well our politicians are making noises again, about a charter of human rights for Australia. The only trouble is they don't see freedom of religion, freedom of speech etc., as a Human Right. The federal Aussie politicians have however announced that from August they will filter the Internet for us. At the same time they have announced a fast cable broadband to be installed in 90% of Australian homes, presumably so we can all watch play school.
    Then there is the local hospital, that needs to be replaced, rebuilt or if the other party gets elected in March they will build a new sports stadium instead and renovate the old hospital. The city of Adelaide council can't work out why the narrowing of the naturally wide city streets has stopped people from coming into the city. Or why the high rents means that no one wants to live in the city.
    Still you don't want know all this local nonsense, why don't we all have a nice cup of coffee, and sit this year out.
    Happy New Year 2011...Yeah, Right!
  20. DesDownunder
    I am really getting a little tired of feeling yucky!
    So bad have I felt that I have not been able to sit for too long at the keyboard.
    All I can do is use one hand to type because the other hand is trying to make me feel better, by wiping my fevered brow.
    (And you thought I was going to be filthy didn't you? Go on admit it.)
    So I lurk around the forums feeling not so good.
    The doctor says I am fine, nothing serious, just getting older, maybe with a "bit of a bug."
    Yikes, getting older! When did this happen?
    What next? Will I start to decay on the spot?
    Rotting flesh falling onto the kitchen floor.
    Perhaps I should get another cat to save me from having to mop up.
    Great clumps of what hair I have left now litters the carpets.
    If I vacuum it up it clogs the vacuum cleaner.
    But then so too do the dead mice.
    A bird of unknown origin died on the driveway overnight.
    I didn't know a thing about it until the boyfriend left to go to the video store and came back into the house screaming about death and dead things all over the yard. I immediately thought of the 'End of Days' and joined him to view this calamitous event in our back yard. I can't really call it the back garden as it is mainly shrivelled weeds.
    I grabbed the shovel and dug a hole and then with great dignity lowered the deceased into the hole.
    Unfortunately it fell off the end of the shovel into the grave hole, causing my darling to shriek in terror.
    "Is it dead?" he screamed. For some reason I thought of John Cleese and the dead Parrot sketch from Fawlty Towers, but I resisted the temptation to pick up the poor dead bird and fling it skyward in the hope that it might take off. This flight had already departed I told him. He is so sensitive.
    I put my arm around him to comfort him. He was shivering. I wondered if he had been meeting this bird behind my back as he drove off in the mornings. I wouldn't haven't minded, I'm not the jealous type.
    We stood silently by the grave uttering our thanks to the gods for the fowls of the air that had fouled up our driveway, and looked carefully to the heavens to see if there were any more dropping down to Earth.
    It was only a small pigeon sized bird. But what had killed it?
    Did it have a heart attack in mid-flight? Was it a suicide?
    Was it bird flu? Well this bird flew no more.
    Bird flu! Bird flu? OMG. We might have bird flu.
    I sterilise the shovel.
    "Quick, quick," I tell the beloved one, " we must wash our hands."
    I ring the council to get the latest news on migrating birds with epidemic diseases.
    They tell me not to worry.
    The boy friend drives off to work muttering something about me being a hypochondriac-drama-queen.
    And he was the one that was screaming!
    I'm going back to bed.

  21. DesDownunder

    (20) Twenty

    By DesDownunder,

    Ok so I have nothing to say today (yet) other than this is the 20th entry in my blog on the 20th day of May 2007.
    How cool is that? You don't have to answer, I know it is lame.
    I just didn't think I would have so much to prattle on about.
    Future historians will wonder incredulously at the keen observation that inspired this entry I am sure.
  22. DesDownunder
    I just washed the floor in the bathroom and laundry. I try to do it every year whether it needs or not.
    We are having a drought. The Govt. has put us all on restrictions. Water is very scarce.
    I thought I might do a naked rain dance in the street to help. How would that help, I hear you ask?
    Well it would scare the neighbours into leaving the state which would mean more water for those of us who remain.
    Things are so serious with the water that pretty soon I will have to make the coffee with bodily fluids.
    Won't need to add milk or cream.
    Any way I was going to tell you about farthings. Hands up all those who know what a farthing is?
    A farthing was a quarter of a penny. My grandparents told me they could buy quite a bit with one.
    I saw one once, it had Queen Victoria on it...well her likeness anyway. I'm really not that old. She was dead before I was born.
    Remember the Zac from my last blog entry? I was wrong. I have just realised that a zac was sixpence or 5 cents.
    The slang for the threepenny piece was a "tray". I wonder if it was spelt tray could have been trey?
    Well my mom use to get a tray for her lunch money.
    It bought her an orange, a pastie or pie with tomato sauce, a cream bun and a drink of cordial.
    That lot would cost $10 today.
    I'm rambling aren't I?
  23. DesDownunder

    Happy New What?

    By DesDownunder,

    Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to have a happy new year when the rest of the world seems to have gone stark raving mad?
    Perhaps it is just me, perhaps I have caught some dreaded mental malady that makes me think the rest of the world is bonkers when it is really me that has gone psycho in January.
    I can tell you I wasn't too happy about Uganda passing laws to execute homosexuals, and my straight friends weren't impressed that if straight people know a gay person, then they have to report them to the Ugandan authorities or face 7 years jail.
    Meanwhile back in Adelaide the government has passed a bill forcing DVD stores who rent or sell R18+ (Restricted classification by the Australian Federal Government) to display the R rated movies in a separate area from all the other DVDs. Note: R18 movies are not porn as such, we have XXX rating for porn which means they are automatically banned and can't be sold or rented to the public in any states, except in Canberra, where the politicians live when Federal parliament is in session.
    Then there is the delightful news that Ireland has passed a blasphemy law, which means if you blaspheme in Ireland you can be fined upto 25,000 Euros (approx. $35,000.)
    I can't sleep and if I do sleep I keep dreaming about straight people being jailed because they know some gays.
    Then I have a nightmare about gay penguins being executed in Uganda, or gay anything being executed anywhere, for that matter, just because they are gay. Haven't we suffered enough for these crackpot zealots thinking they can control nature? Let alone the whole Human Rights issue of being able to love whom you wish. (Consenting adults only please, and only in the designated R-rated section, no XXX stuff, thank you.)
    I am not worried about Ireland so much, the Atheist Ireland group have published a list of 25 blasphemies in the hope of getting arrested. (They are Irish, and I love them for that.)
    I woke up in sweat and almost screaming about the loss of human rights. Am I taking all this too personally, do you think?
    After all I live in Australia and I'm not going to Ireland or Iran or Uganda. It's bad enough having to leave the house and do the weekly shopping. You only have to look at a little old lady and she screams "Help." Heaven help me if I look at her pet dog.
    Well our politicians are making noises again, about a charter of human rights for Australia. The only trouble is they don't see freedom of religion, freedom of speech etc., as a Human Right. The federal Aussie politicians have however announced that from August they will filter the Internet for us. At the same time they have announced a fast cable broadband to be installed in 90% of Australian homes, presumably so we can all watch play school.
    Then there is the local hospital, that needs to be replaced, rebuilt or if the other party gets elected in March they will build a new sports stadium instead and renovate the old hospital. The city of Adelaide council can't work out why the narrowing of the naturally wide city streets has stopped people from coming into the city. Or why the high rents means that no one wants to live in the city.
    Still you don't want to know all this local nonsense, why don't we all have a nice cup of coffee, and sit this year out.
    Happy New Year 2011...Yeah, Right!
  24. DesDownunder
    So it's going to be one of those winters is it?
    Freezing one week, warm and balmy the next.
    Things happen in threes it is said. I hope they're right.
    First the inkjet printers blew up or stopped working, both of them.
    Nothing lasts forever. They had only printed about 30000 pages between them.
    And that was using refill ink. na na to the manufacturer.
    Second the scanner decided to insert vertical lines in every scan. Not just thin unobtrusive lines but bold broad sweeps of dark lines. So I get a new scanner and a new laser printer.
    Then last night I am having a wonderful shower. (Not THAT wonderful, you bad boys.) I was happily shampooing my hair, or what remains of my hair, making mad passionate love to the water, embracing the streams of pulsating liquid warmth whilst icy winds blow outside the house, when without any warning, the water goes frigid.
    Now I know how a man feels on his wedding night, when his wife suddenly loses all interest in making him hot. I felt jilted in the shower. All frothed and foamed up with no hot water to lovingly caress me.
    So after cursing all the taps in the bathroom a trickle of lukewarm water runs out the shower which is just sufficient to rinse off my soapy toned wrinkled aged body and most of my hair on the ends of which, icicles are forming.
    Sixteen hours later a dwarf appears in my back yard. No it is not a garden gnome. It is the hot water plumber. He is one of those small stocky built men. You know the type with a thick neck and short legs set wide apart. I stand watching him from behind as he leans into his tool box, wondering if anyone else has ever had this view of his back. He is very jovial, just happy to do his job at the rate of $110 for the first half-HOUR, plus $25 for each 15 minutes thereafter until my hot water is gassed backed into life, or I faint with financial apoplexy. Oh plus parts. $190. Oh well its cheaper than the $850 for a new heater.
    Aren't overdrafts wonderful? If the bank is as lazy about me paying as it is about giving low interest rates, I shall be in an old folks home in a trance before they realise I have no visible means of support.
    So I jump back into the shower to finish my shampoo, "I'm gonna wash that gnome right out of my head..."

  25. DesDownunder

    (42) Exhausted

    By DesDownunder,

    I'm exhausted!
    The new computer is up and running...on Windows XP.
    I still have a number of programs to install and the hard drives need to be configured to my
    weird standards of operation.
    I must tell you of a program I happened across that I bought because I really like it.
    It is called "Priority Master 7". Basically it allows you to set priorities for the running of programs in relation to CPU usage. At least that is what I think it does.
    Left in auto mode the program boosts the current app and decreases others to idle mode.
    The overall effect is to make the computer more responsive, saving time and frustration.
    You can see the program at
    http://www.prioritymaster.com/
    A friend of mine who was disappointed with his computer has tried it too, and he is now happy.
    I have loads of work to catch up on so I will still won't be around as much as I want, but I hope to be back annoying you all soon. I have a few unfinished poems that are aching to be completed.

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