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Damned Crazy-Ass Emus

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Wayward Emu Corralled in Parking Lot

From Associated Press

August 27, 2007 11:09 PM EDT

WEST BEND, Wis. - Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers: The emu in the parking lot is not for sale.

Employees of a Wal-Mart Supercenter used shopping carts to corral a wayward emu outside the store Monday about 6 a.m., West Bend police said. A manager fed the emu grapes and apples in an attempt to calm the bird inside the makeshift enclosure.

Richard Takacs, the owner of 3-year-old Myron, speculated the bird had been chased from his nearby farm by a coyote. Emus can't fly, but Takacs said he wasn't surprised when police contacted him from the store, about two miles north of his Meadowbrook Market and Pumpkin Farm.

"They can run 40 miles an hour, so that was just a quick sprint for Myron," Takacs said.

Two other emus from the farm also bolted from their pen but were found unharmed in a nearby pumpkin field. Takacs retrieved the apparently frightened Myron from the 24-hour Wal-Mart and placed the bird by itself in a pasture so it could feel

safe and relax. Emus can grow up to six feet tall and weigh as much as 100 pounds.

West Bend is in southeastern Wisconsin, about 35 miles northwest of Milwaukee.

We learn Camy's real name is Myron. Nice.

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So Camy is Mryon, and he likes to shop at Wal-Mart. For some reason, this doesn't fit with what I first pictured the emu to be like. Somehow I'm disappointed.

Jason R.

For a moment there Jason, as I read your post I thought we had discovered Camy's surname, "Mr Yon"

but I sse it was just a typo. :devlish:

Personally I think that Richard Takacs, made advances towards the emus and they ran when he announced that he had "special feelings for my Ron."

The press of course got this confused and thought the emus name was Myron.

Camy will no doubt clear this up for us all. Probably another of his wayward family, after all I think Camy is older than 3 years.

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Um Des,

Every time Wibby finds an article about emus and such, Camy always tries to play it off, blaming it on this cousin or that younger brother. Methinks Camy is trying to confuse us, placing the blame on another Emu instead of admitting his own mistakes. I find this behavior quite suspicious and believe that each of us Awesome Dudes need to keep a closer eye on this damned crazy ass emu.

Jason R.

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Worse, it turns out he's a TAME emu.

Nonsense! He's very emutional and emulodramatic, as wild an emu as can be found in this hemisphere. :devlish:

Colin :icon6:

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I feel that, as an Australian, it is my duty to say something here, but I'm struggling to work out what that is....

Emu's and Kangaroos are part of Australia's coat of arms. I don't know who decided this, but it's been quite prophetic, because both animals share a common trait -- neither is particular bright.

I remember driving along and seeing dead kangaroos on the side of the road. I remember thinking that some drivers are callous, to hit these wonderful, unique creatures.

Then we watched as a kangaroo bounded along next to us, parallel to the car. I smiled... until the roo changed direction and jumped in front of us. A quick slamming of the foot on the brake and we avoided hitting it, but I changed my mind about the roadkills I'd seen earlier. They weren't because of callous drivers -- they were because of stupid kangaroos.

In my experience, I would rate the emu as more intelligent that the kangaroo, but not by a lot.

It is from this that I must, reluctantly, raise a suspicion I've had for some time. I'm not 100% sure that Camy is an emu -- at least not a normal one. He's too intelligent to be your run-of-the-mill emu.

I have, however, no concrete proof to support this suspicion....

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It is possible that Camy is an an emussary of alien emus from the planet Vemus, sent to check if his race is emune to Earth diseases. That would explain why he is emulating Earth emus. :icon6:

Personally I find Camy very emusing.


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It's a good thing Camy has a sense of humour. 'cause if he came and read this, he'd probably never speak to us again.

I just love being a rabble-rouser*.

* Which of course makes all of you the rabble.

Okay, so if I am part of the rabble, why haven't you aroused me yet? :devlish:

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Okay, I'll admit up front that I'm not a horse person, but doesn't it take FOUR legs to canter? If Camy is cantering off, he's actually a horse in emu clothing; and I'm getting suspicious about that big thing he's preening at his nether regions, I'm beginning to think that's NOT a huge feather at all. :icon_geek:

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Although a horse is suggested (as an example) ... being four-legged or two-legged is NOT specified.

American Heritage Dictionary -

Canter (kān'tər)

n. A smooth gait, especially of a horse, that is slower than a gallop but faster than a trot.

v. can?tered, can?ter?ing, can?ters

v. intr.

To ride a horse at a canter.

To go or move at a canter.

v. tr.

To cause (a horse) to go at a canter.

[ultimately from phrases such as Canterbury gallop, after Canterbury, England, toward which pilgrims rode at an easy pace.]

Word History: Most of those who have majored in English literature, and many more besides, know that Chaucer's Canterbury Tales were told by a group of pilgrims on their way to Canterbury to visit the shrine of England's famous martyr Thomas ? Becket. Many pilgrims other than Chaucer's visited Canterbury on horse, and phrases such as Canterbury gallop, Canterbury pace, and Canterbury trot described the easy gait at which they rode to their destination. The first recorded instance of one of these phrases, Canterbury pace, is found in a work published before 1636. However, in a work written in 1631 we find a shortened form, the noun Canterbury, meaning "a canter," and later, in 1673, the verb Canterbury, meaning "to canter." This verb, or perhaps the noun, was further shortened, giving us the verb canter, first recorded in 1706, and the noun canter, first recorded in 1755.

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Has anybody thought about the implications that "Emu" is the past participle of "Emo"?

Probable that it's gonna mostly be us young'uns here on AD who will get this one. You can unhide this to see a definition (PG rated) from Urban Dictionary:


An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)

2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy Emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".

3. Now an Emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)

4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than Emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.

5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another Emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the Emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the Emos DO have something to cry about!


Colin :icon_geek:

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Emo, Emu, Emud? Emuen? Emoan?

Emo, Emi, Enki?

Emo, Emes, Eme, Emons, Emez, Ement?

...As long as it isn't Eminem or Emetic!

...Hey, I might like Emmett, c'mere, dude!

Emo, Emu, Ennui!


Hmm. Given Colin's Urban Dictionary funny, I would suggest the following:

(1) Big or small, as long as it works. If it takes a while, it could be fun getting there. So, where's the problem? Haha!

(2) Possibly, emo-boy might wish to consider emo-boi instead of emo-chick, IF he's so inclined. It could explain the lack of happiness with the emo-chicks. Or perhaps he'd prefer not-so-emo-boi, who wears more than one color and listens to a wider variety of music.

(3) Music lessons, to tune and play that guitar!

(4) Honesty is the best policy. Other policies may seem like they have higher returns on interest, but are higher in maintenance and lower in yield. :D


(*) Blue freely admits to being a little emotional, and the "Goth Kid God" in Joan of Arcadia was somehow appealing, but ehh....

(*) OK, on the other hand, my class song was "Heaven," by Bryan Adams, and Journey, Van Halen, Pat Benatar, Blondie, and of course Bruce Springsteen, were really big. What's with this Boy George guy? George Michael's kinda cool. Madonna? Who's that? Some new girl. (Hint: Madonna was brand new on MTV, around my junior or senior high school years.) -- So I am not the best judge of emo.

Warning! You are approaching geezerdom. Please refrain from "Why, back in my day...." or "Hah, kids today!" On the other hand, there might be a cute male nurse with a sponge bath in your future.... (Oh hush.)

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On the subject of cantering, I'm afraid Trab is correct. Even if the dictionary doesn't define it, cantering is a precise gait. I feel I can comment, after watching more dressage (horse event) than I really need to.

A canter is a three beat gait : http://www.answers.com/canter

It's not possible to canter if you only have two legs....

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