Throbbing Erections

[The Pecman]

Yeah, I confess to having written one scene in one of my novels purely for purient interests, which was the "barn orgy" scene in Groovy Kind of Love. But I did it for a couple of reasons: one, I was amused by the idea of having sex with twins (something I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing in real life), and second, from a story point of view, I wanted to show that my lead character was recovering from the grief of another character's death earlier in the story.

So, yeah, it was intended to be erotic, but I also tried to inject some poignancy into it, as best I could.

We've had conversations here before about "how much sex is too much" in gay fiction, and I still maintain that subtlety and keeping things non-specific -- more about feelings than body parts -- works better as writing. I've read Henry James, Edmund White, and a dozen other literary masters, and I was always impressed how they maintained a certain level in their writing. To me, that's what sets apart a piece of fiction with erotic moments, vs. pornography.

I think there's a place for pornography, and I even think there's a way to do it well, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing at the moment (and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I find sex-specific stories that interesting as novels). But yeah, I've been emotionally affected by scenes I wrote in my own novels, and I've been turned on by most of them. My partner jokes that he can tell when I've really been writing something intense, because I'm drenched with sweat and smell to high heaven -- OK, maybe not quite that bad, but I look like I've been running for five miles in the summer. So the mental intensity has a physical effect on me.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Dear 'Pecman' (by the way, I love the name):

Thank you for an honest post. Most men do actually have sex drives at some points/levels

in their lives .. and erotic writing exists (among other reasons) to satisfy and perpetuate/

help us to identify with that basic, primal function. I have decided that I would like to read the

"barn orgy" scene in Groovy Kind of Love; and let you know if it functioned physically

(i.e. if I became aroused, as you have intended) and at the same time as "so-called literature" .

However, I cannot find the name 'Pecman' on the author list.

Please direct me to the proper link, or send me your entire story pr. e-mail.

[Graeme]

A Groovy Kind of Love is here at AD under the name John Francis.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Thanks Graeme!

[JamesSavik]

We're having throbbing erections here in Mississippi but not the good kind. They are making my head throb and my trigger finger itchy.

For governor We have the choice between a populist that will say anything that's popular and a fat assed old sot that is running on I woulda/coulda/shoulda done better if it wasn't for Katrina.

For attorney general we've got an incumbent running on starting a cyber crimes division in the AG's office but he can't use a computer.

F*ing jerkoffs. Can I vote for lethal injection?

[DesDownunder]

We're having throbbing erections here in Mississippi but not the good kind. They are making my head throb and my trigger finger itchy.

For governor We have the choice between a populist that will say anything that's popular and a fat assed old sot that is running on I woulda/coulda/shoulda done better if it wasn't for Katrina.

For attorney general we've got an incumbent running on starting a cyber crimes division in the AG's office but he can't use a computer.

F*ing jerkoffs. Can I vote for lethal injection?

James, it is no better in Australia; we have Left wing politicians whose policies are more appropriate for the far Right and Right wing politicians who have no policies (because the Left has adopted theirs), but think Bush is God when they are not in La-la land, trying to set their clocks to 1950.

They are falling over each other in the rush to say anything that will get them elected, except those things about which they have been told to say nothing. So that means they are promising to do nothing that will upset anyone except those who don't carry sufficient weight to swing the vote.

Watch the movie, "Amazing Grace" about abolishing slaves in England. You will soon realise that this political mentality is nothing new.

I'm going to get the flashlight and signal the mother ship to rescue me, again.

[Jason Rimbaud]

Speaking for myself, and this is something I do under protest, I must say that not only do I become aroused by my own writing, but usually the only way I become aroused is if I read something I wrote.

I've been known, in my small imaginary circle of friends, to routinely pleasure myself while reading little love notes I've written to myself scattered about the apartment. It makes it a bit "hard" at times to keep my living space clean as in the act of cleaning, I find these little notes and immediately have to stop and take matters into my own hands.

Now you must forgive me, something has come up and I must tend to it immediately.

*turns on the new Garth Brooks song and lights a candle while unbuttoning my pants*

Jason R.

[DesDownunder]

Speaking for myself, and this is something I do under protest, I must say that not only do I become aroused by my own writing, but usually the only way I become aroused is if I read something I wrote.

I've been known, in my small imaginary circle of friends, to routinely pleasure myself while reading little love notes I've written to myself scattered about the apartment. It makes it a bit "hard" at times to keep my living space clean as in the act of cleaning, I find these little notes and immediately have to stop and take matters into my own hands.

Now you must forgive me, something has come up and I must tend to it immediately.

*turns on the new Garth Brooks song and lights a candle while unbuttoning my pants*

Jason R.

Hmmm, I may not be around the site for a few days as I am going to follow Jason's method. I have to spend a lot of time writing notes to myself as I don't want to walk too far before I find one.

[Jason Rimbaud]

CopyCat. I have half a mind to

Damnit, be right back.

Jason R.

[Tragic Rabbit]

This is a serious question for AUTHORS only.

Have you ever been aroused by something you wrote in your own story, especially something that's not an actual sex scene? You know, something maybe titilating or romantic.

I'm just curious.

Yes, though not usually hardcore, if I've written anything that qualifies as such. I have been aroused, sexually or emotionally, by scenes in Drama Club--specifically, I think, when Gene Kuo is involved. May one have a crush on one's own character creation? Is it like having an imaginary friend?

There is one chapter in Drama Club that's pretty sexy, to me, (I think called 'Interlude With an Angel') where Mike carries Angel off in his PJs for some romantic hot stuff...it strikes me on multiple levels, including sexually. Since that scene is...sort of...more specifically autobiographical, that might be why...or not. No idea. I also remember tears in my eyes when I wrote Gene sitting with his mother in their kitchen, both of them sad on the inside.

I will admit that, for whatever reason, my first Halloween novella Some Enchanted Evening makes me cry on every read, as does the shorter tail King of Shreds and Patches, though for different reasons. I think that Some Enchanted Evening is a Dude's Pick right now (again), so I guess it still makes him cry, too.

I think that the sex is pretty subdued in my stuff with two exceptions: Drama Club and Halloween offerings in the form of short stories, like The Midnight Chime or Where No Shadows Fall...but they are also a little bit scary...or worse (intentionally, for Halloween, latter title not for the faint of heart).

So, that would be one limiting factor on a sexual response while writing, that there isn't any or it happens offstage. However, I also remember discussing with another author here how often one takes...relaxation breaks....when writing sexy scenes or stories. We also thought those type breaks might help relax during long writing sessions, apart from the obvious, and allow us to continue.

Um...what other reactions is one allowed? I laugh while writing some stories, definitely laughed while writing Exothermic Reaction and would probably laugh if I sat here and reread it aloud right now. There's an audio file of me reading it aloud, you might be able to tell from listening to my voice.

I've done some parodies and may, on occasion, snigger as I type them. Could that be called a funny boner?

Other stories, my reaction is more subtle, like Dog Boys, which is about sons learning from fathers (among other things). Maybe if it were a better story, I would cry on rereading it...I'm not sure if the lack is a flaw in the writing or something else.

A Moment in Memphis is painful to reread, though I wrote it, particularly the bullet impact scene and the indifferent cops.

Sometimes, maybe most times, I feel while writing, it's not so odd to find my whatever 'aroused' while writing or reading my own words, but not only sexually. I'm more likely to be teary eyed or laughing than hot and horny while writing but that might just be the content itself.

And don't knock Nifty, a lot of us started or were found over there by the Dude, like pennies. Nifty provides an irreplacable service by maintaining that archive.

Kisses...

TR

P.S. Yes, I know I used the post to pimp parts of my Author Page. Feel free to visit it. I am also to show up more and, mainly, to WRITE. Workin' on it.

See you in church!

[Camy]

I answered no, though I have no idea of your parentage.

Originally I answered No. But the question's been rattling around and around in my head, gnawing at me, and it's getting annoying.

In hindsight, the truth is probably yes. There are a couple of scenes I've written that bring a tear of two.

Camy

[Guest Fritz]

As far as becoming sexually aroused over something I've written, the answer is no, but if you extend that to emotionally involved, then the answer is yes. Perhaps that is part, if not all, of the reason that my sex scenes have never satisfied me as to their merit.

On the emotional part, I've sat and cried so hard that I've had to stop writing in order to calm down enough to continue, and I've also sat and giggled so much the same thing was necessary. In fact, I had one scene where it took me multiple tries to get through it because I kept getting so involved that I couldn't see the screen through my tears. Even today I don't like to read that scene because it still upsets me. Perhaps the oddest part is that the scene represents nothing I've ever suffered through and is only a figment of my imagination as to how it might be.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Yeah, I confess to having written one scene in one of my novels purely for purient interests, which was the "barn orgy" scene in Groovy Kind of Love. But I did it for a couple of reasons: one, I was amused by the idea of having sex with twins (something I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing in real life), and second, from a story point of view, I wanted to show that my lead character was recovering from the grief of another character's death earlier in the story.

So, yeah, it was intended to be erotic, but I also tried to inject some poignancy into it, as best I could.

Dear Pecman,

Just got around to reading your novel "Groovy Kind of Love". You had a good plot and strategy, and the sex was just as much a natural part of the story as anything else. My only reaction was the maturity of these young men .. in terms of both language, actions, knowledge and emotions, but I didn't have my first gay relationship before I was 15 years old .. and I know that times have changed much since then.

Write what you want -- with or without sex -- and do not feel either ashamed or that you must justify how much sex the work calls for in your opinion.

best,

A.

[The Pecman]

Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I know I was straying into "adult" territory with some of the scenes in Groovy -- not just with the sex, but with the emotional content -- but I justified it by forcing the lead character to have to interact with other students who were (mostly) two years older than he was. I think most people could buy this kind of behavior from 16 year-olds; Wil is only 14, but partly because of his intellect, and partly because of what he goes through during the year of the story, he's far more mature. (As Wil tells the lawyer in the last chapter, "I'm a lot older than I look.")

The sex was something I grappled with for awhile, and I finally decided that the key was to concentrate more on how the characters felt than to describe the body parts per se. I also tried to vary the sex scenes as much as possible, and tried never to repeat the same situation. At the same time, I didn't feel a need to inject sex into every single chapter. But -- as I've said on this forum before -- I think for a writer to completely ignore sex in a gay-themed story, particularly a coming-of-age story with teenaged characters, is disingenuous. But I concede that the degree of sexual content is a subjective call.

A friend of mine pointed out, "if you were really trying to do this as a serious literary work, you would've ended the novel just as the kid gets the letter from the dead soldier," mirroring the tragic endings contemporary gay novels often have. I could've done that, but I'm a sucker for happy endings, and that was the reason for the American Graffiti-esque epilogue. Besides, I got a kick out of having little Ronnie grow up and (essentially) become a billionaire media magnate modeled after David Geffen. I decided to go for something positive and poignant, rather than pure tragedy, which worked better for me.

And to echo what Fritz said above: I must confess I got a little teary-eyed while writing at least two scenes in Groovy: once when Wil has his nervous breakdown (which was actually written very early on, even though I knew it wasn't going to happen until at least 2/3 of the way into the story), and again during the corny scene where the Texas kids give Wil the horse, and he names it after his dead boyfriend. It's corny as hell, but I meant every word of it when I wrote it, with all my heart.

[Lugnutz]

Damn! I'm in the middle of reading this. Too many spoilers, but I'll continue it just 'cuz I can.

Very good thus far, I'm groovin' on it.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I know I was straying into "adult" territory with some of the scenes in Groovy -- not just with the sex, but with the emotional content -- but I justified it by forcing the lead character to have to interact with other students who were (mostly) two years older than he was. ............ I must confess I got a little teary-eyed while writing at least two scenes in Groovy: once when Wil has his nervous breakdown (which was actually written very early on, even though I knew it wasn't going to happen until at least 2/3 of the way into the story), and again during the corny scene where the Texas kids give Wil the horse, and he names it after his dead boyfriend. It's corny as hell, but I meant every word of it when I wrote it, with all my heart.

I hear ya Pecman: writing/reading about explicit or even non-explicit sex is not always very interesting .. but sometimes it is an essential part of being human; and being gay. Besides, there is nothing wrong with titillating, with providing enjoyment and recreation that excites the senses and gonads and imagination, and which can also both be potentially educational and a confirmation that one's experiences and feelings and desires are not solely one's own or necessarily "psychotic" or "dirty" .. they are just what they are. Not all stories/novels/poems have to be moralistic or idealistic portrayals of how the author thinks society/gay society should be/become. I personally hate "preaching" in literature. I want to be lured into others' experiences and character portrayals so that I can -- together with the author -- co-create / re-create the story in my own mind, with my own experiences/fantasies as a background. I do not confuse sexual turn-on and lust with getting "emotionally involved". Yes, sometimes I do write and read things which become jerk-off material .. my being ashamed to admit this would be ludicrous for me. And I also get emotionally involved with my characters (possibly even more so because most of them are based upon real people and real experiences which are fictionalized to various degrees); and I laugh, cry, get a hard-on (and sometimes relieve it) when re-reading some passages. I remember reading the complete novels of Jean Genet. I called him a "stupid, selfish son-of-a-bitch" while in the middle of "Funeral Rites", and literally threw the book across the loft apartment .. not picking it up again before several weeks later; I was fucking pissed off at his attitude as a writer and gay man. However I did continue reading his works and fell in love again with him by the time I read "Querelle". His literary "genius" combined with his ability to let it all hang out -- quite literally sometimes has tremendous effect on readers ... still today.

Killing off characters that I have a personal affinity to is often painful .. but it sometimes must be done for the story to work. That being said, I believe it was Sigmund Freud who intimated that all characters in our dreams are aspects of our own personalities. Well, I would say the same about characters we create in our literature. And for those who are adamantly against, or who are afraid of exploring and experimenting with writing topics and themes, with sex or heavy topics which are important for many gays (and humans in general) today: sexual misuse and abuse, no-sex due to fear, condom-hate, barebacking, HIV, drug addiction, prostitution, suicide, non-acceptance .. I can only replay my own record: "write what you want .. but these topics also have their audiences right here on AD. Let us not make a general "clique"/internal society that scares/shames writers from trying to serve the need to provide also these gays literature that they can relate to in their experience of being/becoming "gay", "lesbian", "bisexual", "trans"." And let us be careful not to insult or spread our own "morals" regarding this to inquisitive and seeking readers by getting upset when they ask for sex, stories about HIV, drug abuse etc.

Bisous,

A.