Throbbing Erections

[Tanuki Racoon]

This is a serious question for AUTHORS only.

Have you ever been aroused by something you wrote in your own story, especially something that's not an actual sex scene? You know, something maybe titilating or romantic.

I'm just curious.

[colinian]

You should have had a "No" by itself, but since you didn't I had to select the one with which I disagree with everything in it except the "No". So there!

I have become emotional by scenes in some of the stories I've written, when I'm writing them and often when I go back and read them.

Colin

[Cole Parker]

The truth is, I simply don't remember!

I guess that IS getting old.

But as people here tend to know, steamy sex scenes aren't exacty my forte.

However, I think your poll needs a couple more choices.

One would be, have you ever been MILDLY aroused. That would make more sense to me than seriously aroused.

And another would be, yes, and there's nothing sick about it. We all have imaginations. That's why we write.

But I can't vote, because I don't remember.

Des might have the same answer.<g>

C

[Cole Parker]

I readily agree with Colin. I often get emotional over scenes I write. That's easy. I have a difficult time imagining any author that never did get emotional about any scene he wrote.

C

[DesDownunder]

<looks around to make sure no one can see him in here>

Once again we have a poll that does not provide for the answer I want to give.

My answer is "No" but I do not think you are at all sick or a bastard.

It also depends on what you mean by "aroused."

I have found myself excited mentally, even had an epiphany of sorts.

I have laughed and cried as I write.

I have been moved by my clever and not so clever choice of words.

I have been dismayed by my missing obvious errors in my writing.

I have been astounded that I could write anything at all.

But no, I have never found myself in a state of being sexual aroused because of something I am writing.

In my early days of discovering the porn sites and their fictional stories, I won't say I wasn't doing more than throbbing, but it is like all porn for me -it loses its ability to arouse with familiarity.

I suspect that this so for a number of people and the only reason I can think of is that for us the porn is not a substitute for the real thing, though that situation can of course change at any given moment.

As an adult-shop worker once explained to me, there are many people out there who do not, for a number of differing reasons, have the option available of having sex with another human being.

These people, she told me, rely on the stimulation of porn for sexual satisfaction. She considered herself to be a sex consultant.

I am not saying I don't get aroused by a new author exploring a new situation or a new way of describing intimate relations in their work, but they had better be good at it.

Now I don't tend to write that sort of story. My mental activity such as it is, is usually thinking of plot structure, character development, or word choice. All very unrelated to popping a boner.

Now don't get me wrong, I cn understand how Shakespeare may have got some jollies writing some of the scenes in his plays, but frankly I think those jollies would have been a by-product of his hormonal state rather than his words. (And would probably have been inspired by some of his young actors.)

I have noticed an ebb and flow of the creative process itself, dependant on recent sexual excursion, but that can happen in any area of activity. I can imagine some degree of arousal if I were to write porn, but I seriously doubt I would become motivated to sexual conquest by them.

Like all authors I think we can become infatuated with our words, but that is I take it not what you are talking about.

There is, for me, a wider more interesting question here. Does porn incite sexual desire or satisfy it? The answer is it depends on the person reading it. So I would say that conservative ant-porn people are the ones who get aroused by porn, along with the innocence of those who do not associate guilt with pleasure.

People tend to want to ban what they cannot control. So if they remove the accessibility of porn they will no longer be tempted or have to contend with there own feelings of arousal. Of course they say they only want to do it to protect community values.

However there are a number of sick bastards, to use your phrase, who get aroused by such writing to seek out a sexual partner without regard for appropriate or willing response.

The conservatives in this instance respond by blaming the literature, rather than the state of mind of the individual who has lost self control. But that of course is a different subject.

Finally I would observe that the state of arousal of the author is independent of the quality of their work, but not perhaps its nature. Beauty is after all in the eye of the aroused one.

[DesDownunder]

Cole, all I can say is, "Who is this Des you mention?"

[Graeme]

I have to agree with Colin. I've become emotional with a number of scenes that I've re-read, though I rarely get overly emotional when I'm actually writing them. I've smiled with some of the romance scenes, but I've not become aroused.

[Cole Parker]

Des, I was thinking that you, being old like I am, would possibly have a problem remembering if you'd ever been arroused, even slightly, by anything you'd written. Not by anything anyone had written; that wasn't the question you seemed to spend a lot of time answering.

But the first part of the answer seemed pertinent, and in fact shows that you remember more than I ever even knew. So, everything's still normal.

C

[blue]

Well! Now there's a title.

Nope, I don't get aroused by my own writing. I haven't really written a big, long, hard, uh... I mean, I haven't really written a steamy love scene. But if I did, eh, when I'm writing, there's too much going on in my brain in how to create and how to detail the words and story for the lower half to get too busy.

Uh, besides, my hands would be on the keyboard and... well, sorry, but no matter how hot the computer is, that keyboard just isn't sexy. Oh hush, I heard you over there with your lascivious imaginings! (Hmm, maybe I should listen more....)

OK, being more serious.

I *do* get emotional when I write. I feel things I'm writing about. I get into it. I pretend! Bwahahaa! Behold, I've create a world to play in and invited everyone else to come read and imagine it too.

It can be very cathartic. It can also be very draining. One story draft made it to several chapters in a marathon writing session lasting about two or three days, except sleeping, and I was emotionally wrung out from it all. (And I don't know if that one will ever make it out of my file drawer, as a few months later, I found it was a little close for comfort to something in someone's real life.)

I should say, I have chapters and snippets of many things, but have rarely completed a story. It's something I really want to work on.

So yes, I feel a lot when I write and the scene and cast are really going well.

But no, I'm not generally thinking of a sex scene, and for any writing, you have to think about how to describe what you see in your mind's eye and how to get it down on paper. To me, it's partly natural, and partly very planned, and really, if I'm busy planning or deciding how to describe it and what words to use, I'm not so likely to be carried away by (oh baby, that's what I like).

Do I have a fantasy life, dreams, etc? Yeah, and that's not on paper, and not for public dissemination. (Pun, get it?)

-----

OK, you didn't really ask, but --

If the story's good, if the writing's good, I can get caught up in the story and forget it's a story. In other words, I'm in that imaginary world, pretending. Cool! I really like that.

If the story and writing are moving, yes, I'll be emotional about it. -- Oh alright, some of you guys and girls can make me cry. There, happy now? -- You can also make me laugh, love, get angry, want to fight back, want to defend, get me spooked, things like that. -- Now, I'm not going to be acting out, but sure, I'll be moved.

Oh alright, you're wanting to know if uptight Blue, who's spoken out about various things before, yeah, you want to know about *that.*

-- It's been a long time since I've last unloaded like this, but at the moment, I don't care, I'm going to. Just maybe, it'll help someone understand him/herself. --

Look, guys, when I first got on the web and first found gay stories, I was so closeted, it was pitiful. So there were things that, yes, surprised me by how much they excited me. It was a learning experience. So now you know. Blue is not as uptight as you think. I've got a sex drive, and it's on idle too often. (I learned, though, that such stories didn't ultimately do it for me. They weren't what I was really looking for.)

But at the same time, what I *really* wanted and *needed* the most -- was much, much more basic. What I needed to know most, as a gay but closeted and questioning guy, was that I could find real love, true friendship, belonging... very ordinary, normal, everyday stuff, and that I or other gay people were not somehow bad or strange or ...whatever else. I simply didn't know if I could ever find acceptance and love from another guy, which I craved; or if I could find acceptance and friendship from other people, if I were out. That was more meaningful to me than reading something to get me horny and get off.

When I first found a story or two, and it really clicked with me, "Oh, you mean, I can love and be loved, be normal, make love (have *good* sex!) ... all of it, as a gay guy? There are other guys who really feel that way? I'm not the only one?" -- It was a big deal to me. Never mind that I grew up in a major city. It was still a big deal. The only personal experiences I had, as a pre-teen and teen, all told me other guys didn't like guys, and would (a) be indifferent; (b) be insulting; or © be hostile. Up until then, I hadn't really even begun to accept myself as a gay person. -- Now, when I've said something like that before, someone actually accused me of being phobic. I don't think that's homophobia. I think that's fear of getting emotionally or physically hurt. That, to me, is a very different thing than being homophobic.

I've said it before: One story in particular really moved me. I had gotten really down by then, and knew it. (I was suicidal, plain and simple.) But I didn't know what the key was. I didn't know what was the real thing bothering me. And then, I decided to click on one story. What the hell, right? I could read that and then go and... well, it wouldn't have been nice.

That was Just Hit Send, by Grasshopper. (I wish it was elsewhere. I wish it was all over the net, for people who need it.)

I found I couldn't put it down. I sat there, and read every chapter there was at that point, and well, I was a real mess. *waah!* But it was a good "waah!" That story told me I wasn't bad for being gay. But more than that, it told me I wasn't unlovable or ugly, or unsexual, for being handicapped. (I'm vision-impaired, legally blind.) My eyesight meant that I wasn't, and couldn't, be like most other boys. Sure, I could take a lot, but being made fun of hurt. I had gotten to where I mostly held in my anger or tears, and let them out in private, where no one could see. (No, that is not good.)

And then here was a story of a boy who thought no one would love him for being gay and obviously handicapped (and he thought, ugly) and someone else truly loved him, and truly didn't care that he was "different" in any way.

I didn't even know I'd come to think of myself that way, but I had. -- Grasshopper is a hero of mine, for his writing. What few things I know of him tell me he's a class act. I hope he finds that happiness with someone.

There are a few other stories that have moved me about that much. -- This doesn't mean I don't have other favorites; just that these moved me in the same, "Oh. Now I understand," way.

From the Heart, by Codey. ~ If you think it's a moving story, you should see what it feels like to edit it or record it in audio.

New Brother, by Graeme. ~ Half the time, I wanted to give David a piece of my mind, but it's what he learns and what the others go through. It isn't a huge, immediate emotional thing, but the lessons in it on acceptance are really good.

Courage, by Cole Parker. ~ In a lot of ways, Cole gets it.

A Smokey Mountain Christmas, by CarolinaScribbler. ~ It reminds me of the little town where my dad's family was from, and it's a beautiful story.

-- OK, you notice, there's very little steamy stuff goin' on in any of those, but there's a lot of love and friendship in them, and self-acceptance or acceptance of others is prominent in all of them. -- Yes, you now how to really wow CW's editor. ;)

[R.J.]

I'm not ashamed that I was aroused while writing the next to last scene in the last chapter of FABH. It's not a sex scene, and I don't know if it's romantic, so I chose other scene. Part of growing up, I guess.

[DesDownunder]

Des, I was thinking that you, being old like I am, would possibly have a problem remembering if you'd ever been arroused, even slightly, by anything you'd written. Not by anything anyone had written; that wasn't the question you seemed to spend a lot of time answering.

But the first part of the answer seemed pertinent, and in fact shows that you remember more than I ever even knew. So, everything's still normal.

C

Normal? I assure there is no normal in my life.

But Cole I was really just playing smart-ass to your mentioning me, as If I had forgotten my own name which at my age could happen at any time, if it hasn't already happened.

(I recommend amino acids, Chinese Deer Velvet, Brahmi and Ginkgo to aid more than memory.)

I admit to wandering from the original question in effort to show some degree of influence that sex scenes have on others, that we may better comprehend the nature of the "beast" that could influence an author to succumb to his own writing. (Although if he could suck-cum by himself I am sure he would, without the need to write about it.)

Anyway as I said I am rather more interested in the wider question of the influence of writing and how porn is misconstrued as an agent of evil, rather than seeing that the evil is in the mind of the person reading.

As an author I can see how early writing could indeed be seductive to arousing the author, particularly if it is the object of the writing, but I would expect if the writing improves it will be because as Blue says,

"when I'm writing, there's too much going on in my brain in how to create and how to detail the words and story for the lower half to get too busy."

Other authors may develop their writing skills and still be aroused. Good for them. If they do that I have no problem with it. I can't see myself doing that though.

I do have an (early) unpublished "streamy scene" of solitary masturbation. It did not stir me when I wrote it, but I laughed out-loud at the written results of the "stream." Perhaps that makes me a sick bastard.

I do experience sensations of mirth, along with cathartic, emotional and even prideful, pain and joy, when writing, but those are arousals of other kinds to the original throbbing question.

[Lugnutz]

You should have had a "No" by itself, but since you didn't I had to select the one with which I disagree with everything in it except the "No". So there!

I have become emotional by scenes in some of the stories I've written, when I'm writing them and often when I go back and read them.

Colin

+1

In my story I might hint at steamy stuff, but I don't write about it. Not my style, that and it wouldn't sound right coming from me. Besides, my niece reads it.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Hi guys!

Having recently had my AD "debut" with a rather explicit novella ("Entre Nous"), I feel that it is (perhaps) appropriate that I make a comment about both the question at hand and my motivation for writing the story.

Firstly, certain parts of the story do arouse me mentally-sexually when I re-read them. This because many parts are based upon actual experiences or long-time fantasies that I have stored on my "mental-sexual hard disk" for many years. This does not necessarily mean that they still function as "jerk off material" for me. However, the sensational and emotional aspects I identify with in the various characters and their predicaments do awaken both memories (albeit fictionalized in the story) and new perspectives based on seeing things from the characters' perspectives (which is something I could not do before actually writing the piece).

Secondly, this was not my first time to write about sexual arousal -- but it was the first time to write so explicitly .. and it was planned. The plan (whether the final result is perceived as "successful" or not by readers) was to explore and experiment with the boundaries between pornography and literature .. writing explicitly while still maintaining a psychological/human interplay between characters and an almost "Harlequin romance novel" writing style. I chose to further challenge myself by making the story multi- and intercultural, and multilingual -- this to accentuate the universality of one expression of big city, urban gay lifestyle -- in a state of transition.

Lastly, I wished to attempt to challenge my own and the readers' perceptions/judgments of various gay identities and relationships, and overall questions of deciphering confluent aspects of self-identity vs. how "the world" expects us to be -- both as society members in general, but also as gays that are possibly most accepted by greater society with the provision that we fit into the structures and limitations of others.

This is the first .. and possibly the last time .. I have/will attempt(ed) something of this sort. It is very much "formula-writing" for me personally, but it was fun to do it just once. And yes, I did get a "tickle" out of reaching into my own experiences and fantasies and revealing them for others' possible pleasure and introspection .. but that is what all of my writing is about, regardless of whether I write about philosophy, human condition and psychological questions or spirituality (all my primary literary themes).

I personally feel that it is quite "okay" to get excited (or provoked) by one's own writing and by the writing of another author. That indicates that a "connection" has been established, and that (hopefully) the reader is encouraged to "co-create" art/literature with or as a result of the art/literature presented, or eventually to personally challenge one's own changing perceptions. The life process is a continuum.

[DesDownunder]

I am sorry to say that I have not yet had the time to read your ("Entre Nous"), Another Gay Writer, but your post has me really whetted my appetite to do so.

I love that you have entered into writing with such an analysis in mind as you posted above as quoted here:

The plan (whether the final result is perceived as "successful" or not by readers) was to explore and experiment with the boundaries between pornography and literature .. writing explicitly while still maintaining a psychological/human interplay between characters and an almost "Harlequin romance novel" writing style.

This to my mind does provoke us all to experiment with our writing, whether it includes porn or not is up to the individual.

This idea of porn and literature is also relevant for me as the local Adelaide poetry society is at present in an internal conflict as to whether it should permit pornographic poems to be read at its all-adult poetry readings. The main "pornographer" (a title he prefers to "porno poet") claims he is examining transgression in his poems.

The opposition claim he is just being filthy and moreover that porn cannot be literature let alone Art.

As you might imagine there are divisions amongst the membership on this issue.

AGW, you also raise a thought for me that age is relevant in the main question of the poll.

Younger writers just in the throes of discovery and sexual exploration may well become excited as they portray their fantasies or real life adventures on paper.

We who are older should not only salute them but also be mindful that our body -"mental-sexual hard drive" cabling may be a little worse for wear and so be somewhat more cerebral in our arousal. In most cases I am sure our sexual graphics card is still capable of forming images that can be recognised by our CPU. That is probably where our arousal is occurring.

In other words we of the aged may be aroused but it is all in our minds.

[Cole Parker]

Blue: I'm blushing. Thanks.

Des: I was wondering what your comment meant. I completely missed that your were spoofing forgetting your own name. Some nights I'm dimmer than others, and that night, I forgot to turn on the light at all.

As to the question, can written pornography be literary art, of couse it can. Neither pornography nor art can be accurately defined, and the edges of the two are constantly being blurred. If some bluenoses claim that anything arousing cannot be deemed art, they're letting their own prejudices override their emotions and intelligence. Assuming the presence of the latter.

C

[DesDownunder]

Blue: I'm blushing. Thanks.

Des: I was wondering what your comment meant. I completely missed that your were spoofing forgetting your own name. Some nights I'm dimmer than others, and that night, I forgot to turn on the light at all.

As to the question, can written pornography be literary art, of couse it can. Neither pornography nor art can be accurately defined, and the edges of the two are constantly being blurred. If some bluenoses claim that anything arousing cannot be deemed art, they're letting their own prejudices override their emotions and intelligence. Assuming the presence of the latter.

C

Not a problem Cole, I guess I was too subtle. Not something I usually suffer from. LOL.

I certainly agree with your comments about art, literature and the assumption of intelligence.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

Very good observations Des and Cole!

In my opinion, the real "pornography" today is glorification of violence,

abuse, warfare and political corruption for economic gain and power/control.

The worse kind of pornography for me (is then) apathy or quiet acceptance

of these transgressions. I have seen too many people lose their lives and/or

sanity because they felt too alone against their oppressors, or because they

did not live up to the 'systems' rules for being a "member of society". I write/paint

(and provoke myself and others through my literary and visual art) in order to

constantly ask the question: 'is this really the kind of reality/consciousness

we wish to create/have?' It all really does start in the mind; and that is where

the changes need to occur. Sometimes this means putting the question 'in the

faces' of our audiences in order to awaken the mental/emotional processes,

which often have been deadened by the constant onslaught of anti-human values

and non-acceptance of those who are different. Of course, this is nothing new.

The list of famous writers who have employed this technique throughout history

is long, and so-called 'provocation' and the 'anti-art' movement has been popular

for decades both in literary and visual/performing arts circles.

And I agree: experimentation with style in writing keeps us 'young' and

'throbbing' (mentally, at least).

[TalonRider]

I know this is aimed at the author, so I speak as an editor and reader. I would think the author would be concentrating no writing and wouldn't get a hardon while typing. Reviewing what they've typed might be a different story tho.

[R.J.]

I know this is aimed at the author, so I speak as an editor and reader. I would think the author would be concentrating no writing and wouldn't get a hardon while typing. Reviewing what they've typed might be a different story tho.

Different story for me though. Since when I write, I am in my character's shoes.

[DesDownunder]

Different story for me though. Since when I write, I am in my character's shoes.

So does this mean you have a foot fetish?

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

[R.J.]

So does this mean you have a foot fetish

The answer is no, and I love you, Des.

[Fun Tails]

In my opinion, the real "pornography" today is glorification of violence,

abuse, warfare and political corruption for economic gain and power/control.

So, basically, what you're saying is that George Bush () makes you horny?

[Tanuki Racoon]

First, I did not specify how aroused just if it occurred or not. That's for your personal interpretation.

Second, I really don't think most authors would feel that way as they write because they're probably involved in many other things. But most of us do go back and read what we've written when we're done to weed out heinous errors and to make sure what we wrote is what we meant to say.

Third, I think almost all authors get emotionally involved in their stories. I absolutely do. I have strong emotions for some of my characters and I think it shows. Makes for better writing. However the question wasn't about that, though it would be a good question if someone wishes to pose it.

Lastly, sorry you all found my "No" answer and (theoretically) humorous add-on clause less than funny. I thought it was funny. So there.

[Adam Donaldson Powell]

he he funtails ... hardly............

but good, engaging writing sometimes does, as does anything

that titillates the sensations to creative ideas and production.

my point is that 'pornography' has gotten a 'bad rap' as the

bane of modern civilization, but that sex/nudity and profanity are

now to been seen and enjoyed in all facits of everyday life (art, television,

newspapers, magazines, books, films, rap songs etc. ad nauseum) ..

the sex act is now "normalized" and unfortunately so is violence,

social injustice, corruption, killing, torture, marginalization of persons

who do not fit into accepted societal norms.

people who care about others are once again often referred to as

'commies' etc. we are becoming a world who believes everything

we read in the news (which is surprisingly similar on all world

broadcasts except in the so-called "axis of evil", isn't it?!!) and who

are deadened by fascination with superstars/celebrities and the possibility

of instant fame, and collective and individual self-centeredness.

The large corporations who steer the world (and who also steer

Bush and other world leaders) produce true pornography --

here defined as written, graphic, or other forms of communication

designed to excite lascivious feelings (Webster). Lascivious:

of or characterized by lust, lewd, lecherous (Webster). The new

lasciviousness in my opinion is not sex (Bill and Monica ruined

that fantasy for most of us), but that which truly turns us on today:

greed, materialism, the "he who owns the most when he dies, wins" attitude,

non-compassion for those who are less fortunate (both near and far),

rampant and indiscriminate consumerism, abuse of those who are different

and the poor etc. Not to mention glorification of 'superstars' and getting

hooked on all products they 'create' (with the help of ghost writers and

designers) in order to keep their names in the forefront of

everyone's minds (and credit card bills). Pornography is now also the brainwashing

activities and subcultures of various forms of mafia, drug cartels, established religions

and money-grubbing (and sex abusing) spiritual cults, the media, cyber monopolies etc. and

all who attempt to gain control of our minds, hearts and behavior by sucking the

'soulness' out of being human, and instilling in us a constant

code of control and comformity. The new 'sexy-ness' is increasingly mental,

and often quite concerned with personal image, money, power and influence.

... I do not worry about words like 'fuck', 'dick', 'prick', 'pussy', 'cunt', 'clit',

'asshole', 'fuck hole' etc. however i do worry very much about many of the

forms of lasciviousness referred to the the previous paragraph.

[Camy]

I answered no, though I have no idea of your parentage.