Satire Wire - news with a twist

[Alien Son]

I rarely visit the forums and post even less often. When I do post it's usually in a site-related topic.

I shared with Mike the Trump article linked below and he urged me to post it here. Just to show I'm not biased I've also posted a link to an hilarious article about my country.

SatireWire is written by Andy Marlatt, an American who writes comedy for TV and radio. There are some excellent articles on the site.

TRUMP NOMINATION A VICTORY FOR AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

[ChrisR]

The only thing wrong on the list was the implied error of his ways in "He said Mexico will pay to build a wall across the U.S. border..." Do you honestly think Mexico won't have to do so just to keep the Americans OUT?

[colinian]

OMG, I hope the Canadians don't think about doing that if Donald Strumpf is elected and Doug and I start our move to Vancouver, BC.

Colin

[colinian]

I rarely visit the forums and post even less often. When I do post it's usually in a site-related topic.

I shared with Mike the Trump article linked below and he urged me to post it here. Just to show I'm not biased I've also posted a link to an hilarious article about my country.

SatireWire is written by Andy Marlatt, an American who writes comedy for TV and radio. There are some excellent articles on the site.

TRUMP NOMINATION A VICTORY FOR AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

TRUMP NOMINATION A VICTORY FOR AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

Hillaryous!

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

WTF did the Aussies take the long way around to the North Atlantic? Afraid of a little Antarctic ice??? Worried that South Africa might retaliate if Australia dumped their trash off Cape Town???

Colin

[TalonRider]

WTF did the Aussies take the long way around to the North Atlantic? Afraid of a little Antarctic ice??? Worried that South Africa might retaliate if Australia dumped their trash off Cape Town???

Trevor and Shane blazed the trail on how to get there.

[Merkin]

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Who knew? I thought that was Greenland.

[Nigel Gordon]

The North Atlantic is where Australia actually belongs - why else do you think they are in the Eurovision Song Contest?

[ChrisR]

The North Atlantic is where Australia actually belongs - why else do you thing they are in the Eurovision Song Contest?

For the same reason that American United States (and Canadian) baseball has a "World Series"?

[dude]

OMG, I hope the Canadians don't think about doing that if Donald Strumpf is elected and Doug and I start our move to Vancouver, BC.

Colin

Save room in the U-Haul for me!

[colinian]

Save room in the U-Haul for me!

You got it! Actually, you rent the U-Haul and put in your stuff then drive to Walnut Creek and we'll add our stuff and head north from here.

Colin

[Alien Son]

Colin asked: "WTF did the Aussies take the long way around to the North Atlantic? Afraid of a little Antarctic ice??? Worried that South Africa might retaliate if Australia dumped their trash off Cape Town???"

Actually, the route through the Panama Canal is more direct. I think we might have taken out a few Pacific island nations, though.

[JamesSavik]

Some of the more annoying self-important celebrities threatening to leave the country if Trump is elected are sorely tempting some folks.

[colinian]

Colin asked: "WTF did the Aussies take the long way around to the North Atlantic? Afraid of a little Antarctic ice??? Worried that South Africa might retaliate if Australia dumped their trash off Cape Town???"

Actually, the route through the Panama Canal is more direct. I think we might have taken out a few Pacific island nations, though.

Trouble is, besides the Pacific island nations being taken out, you scraped off Tasmania on the way through the Panama Canal. Panama is demanding that you come back and get rid of it. It's causing a supertanker blockage in the canal.

Colon

[dude]

Some of the more annoying self-important celebrities threatening to leave the country if Trump is elected are sorely tempting some folks.

I thought Trump was the most annoying self-important celebrity!

[ChrisR]

I thought Trump was the most annoying self-important celebrity!

Merely the current flavor of the month.

[Cole Parker]

Trouble is, besides the Pacific island nations being taken out, you scraped off Tasmania on the way through the Panama Canal. Panama is demanding that you come back and get rid of it. It's causing a supertanker blockage in the canal.

Colon

I preferred your original name, but if you think this fits. . . .

[DesDownunder]

The trouble is that Aussies face a Federal Election on July 2, and we are headed towards re-electing the no-tory-ous liberal national party (LNP) back into power. This disaster might be avoided if we could get some media coverage showing that the LNP wants to effect a Trump-like status across our once lucky country. We don't have a Canada to our North or even a Mexico to our South to which we might escape. All we have is a rightwing party of Aussie religious rednecks hiding behind their political aspirations; quite the equal to anything that the GOP can muster. I think our Aussie election will be a prophecy of the U.S. results, and that means the new Dark Age will have begun in Australia.

[colinian]

There's always New Zealand... complete with earthquakes.

Colin

[Graeme]

New Zealand will have their own general election either late this year or sometime next. I don't think Des will want to flee the Australian election and run straight into a New Zealand one (especially since the current party in power is a conservative one).

[DesDownunder]

I have no intention of going to NZ. I don't think that New Zealand needs help with their earthquakes as they already have marriage equality.

[dude]

There's always New Zealand... complete with earthquakes.

Colin

Says the guy who lives in the SF Bay area!

[Cole Parker]

Liberal gains in the past few years will be hard to overturn, even with a conservative group coming into power. That's how it always works. Unless the new group uses draconian methods, like the Nazis did, I doubt things will be as bad as you think. New liberal ways become entrenched and people won't give them up easily.

C

[colinian]

There's always New Zealand... complete with earthquakes.

Colin

Says the guy who lives in the SF Bay area!

Hey, the Bay Area (and California in general, including Palm Springs) isn't the earthquake capital of the U.S.A. It's... (drum roll)... Oklahoma! Really!! Look it up. In fact, that fact was covered on a recent 60 Minutes program. Has to do with oil drillers pumping the water that's recover along with the oil back into the ground below the levels where the oil is extracted, and it's now causing the thousands of earthquakes annually. Go to earthquakes.ok.gov/what-we-know/earthquake-map/. There's an interactive map and a lot of good background material. The item Seismicity - An Overview shows what's causing this huge increase in seismic activity.

Colin

[Nigel Gordon]

Hey, the Bay Area (and California in general, including Palm Springs) isn't the earthquake capital of the U.S.A. It's... (drum roll)... Oklahoma! Really!! Look it up. In fact, that fact was covered on a recent 60 Minutes program. Has to do with oil drillers pumping the water that's recover along with the oil back into the ground below the levels where the oil is extracted, and it's now causing the thousands of earthquakes annually. Go to earthquakes.ok.gov/what-we-know/earthquake-map/. There's an interactive map and a lot of good background material. The item Seismicity - An Overview shows what's causing this huge increase in seismic activity.

Colin

It is not the number of earthquakes you have that is important, it is the size of them. Remember both the Richter scale and the Moment Magnitude Scale are logarithmic to the base 10 and a size 4 earthquake is a 100 times more powerful than a size 2 earthquake. It is the size that matters!

[Nigel Gordon]

OMG, I hope the Canadians don't think about doing that if Donald Strumpf is elected and Doug and I start our move to Vancouver, BC.

Colin

I suspect that might account for the recent futures price of cement increasing so much. With both Mexico and Canada buying options in case they need the supplies the price is bound to go up.