The Scrolls of Icaria

[Tanuki Racoon]

Well, I am a huge fan of fantasy novels so I had to immediately give this a try. It shows promise, that's for sure. Grabbed me right away. I was crushed by an it's error, a peeve of mine. But I liked it enough to overlook it.

There's a lot of wondering going on in the reader's mind as to what's happening, and the best thing is the reader (ME!) wants to know more. Grabbed my attention full-on, it did.

Besides, after reading the author's Bio, we have far too much in common.

-- wbms

[/b]

[aj]

a boy and his dog--who can resist that? nice first chapter...looking forward to the rest.

cheers!

aj

[Tanuki Racoon]

a boy and his dog

Or his something at any rate....

-- wbms

[Jamie]

1.00

[blue]

Ah, apparently, this is a different Jamie.

For now, I'm going to guess this is "a boy and his something" maybe more than a dog, maybe connected to each other or separated in two... or something else intriguing.

I'm really not going to wonder what some boy in rags is doing with a gold chain and amulet, I'm really not. (grin) But I'd guess there's a story reason for that, and hey, other stories do it.

I'm hooked and eager to see the rest of the story.

Um, I do have one mild criticism: There was maybe a little too much time spent getting up and sorting himself out. Things started moving along more, though, when the dog came onto the scene. (I would've just consolidated the first paragraphs a little.)

I'm intrigued. We have an amnesiac boy, a cur with serious mileage, and those mysterious "they" that show up for the cliffhanger.

I'm all for a well-built alternate world and a good sf&f book.

[Jamie]

2.00

[blue]

Bonsoir et bienvenu, Jamie.

My French lit. survey prof. would be horrified if I admitted I've forgotten Zola, but I recently realized how rusty my French and Spanish have gotten, and pulled out my books to review. -- I'll look for Zola to read, too. -- If there's an excerpt in one of my texts from that particular Zola passage, that will tell me a great deal about just how much I've forgotten. Ah well, if so, it'll all be new again, then, won't it? :D De nouveau, au moins.

Sorry, I went on a tangent there. Back on topic.

I'll happily give the story a chance, I've read longer descriptions, and like you say, each writer has his own style; it's part of the charm.

Oh, and btw, I'm slowly moving out of the closet. I'm keeping that sig until I'm more fully out, partly as a reminder to myself. -- I've gotten some nice answers like yours, and they're appreciated.

[Tanuki Racoon]

Oh, and btw, I'm slowly moving out of the closet. I'm keeping that sig until I'm more fully out, partly as a reminder to myself. -- I've gotten some nice answers like yours, and they're appreciated.

Well if you're looking for VOTES, I pick 2 and possibly 3.

-- wbms

[aj]

#4 for me, as you might have guessed. LOL

[blue]

lol -- Thanks for the votes, guys! :hugs: :oops: But we do need to get back on topic. Jamie's liable to sic that dog on us. Luckily, I'm good with animals. :hugs:

[aj]

Blue said:

Luckily, I'm good with animals.

A quality that will stand you in very good stead in the later stages of the coming out process...

cheers,

aj

[blue]

I'm already owned by a cat.... I have this feeling what you really meant went right over my head. :whoosh: Maybe enlightenment via PM?

[Tanuki Racoon]

I'm already owned by a cat

What self-respecting gay man plays with pussy?

I am shocked I tell you, SHOCKED

-- wbms

(I, too, am a cat person)

[Jamie]

3.00

[aj]

thank you for your kind words, jamie--editing the scrolls is purely a pleasure. I feel privileged to be part of working on such a good project.

Having read ahead what is upcoming for the readers on this site, all i can say is "strap in--it's gonna be a fun ride!"

cheers,

aj

[blue]

Wings? Huh, definitely didn't see that coming. Odd, I'd think his body-sense and peripheral vision would tell him they were there. However, I'm going with the theory that he's somehow enchanted, so that actually he's inhabiting that body... or something like that.

Nice bit with the servant woman taking the amulet, and the narrator's response. I imagined the type of medieval / Rennaissance cap she's wearing, but don't know if it has a name. I wonder if she's recurring.

Hope we'll see Luc and Jon again. Just enough there to suggest they might be important. We didn't get a great deal of characterization, but enough to be intriguing and so that they aren't background extras.

I get the feeling that this is either a neglected backwater, or the countryside overall is in decline, somehow related to the angelic boy's appearance.

Nice demo. of knowledge of European medieval and Rennaissance life.

[Jamie]

4.00

[blue]

I haven't read chapter 7 yet, but the story remains strong and continues to add richness. I was a little disappointed that the deaf character, Jon, didn't make it, but then again, the Middle Ages were hard to live in and hard to stay alive in.

I wondered if the name Tardon was intended to have its meaning of "late, delayed, slow," and if maybe it was a veiled reference to the inhabitants' backward thoughts and morals toward others less fortunate or different. -- Maybe I'm looking for symbolism because I want to see it, since not everything a writer writes is intended to have some deeper, hidden meaning.

Jamie, you're welcome to claim, "of course I meant it, you should've seen it two chapters ago!" :)

My only critique is to wonder about giving the character your name, unless of course, it's just your pen name. Not asking you to say that, btw.

Hmm. Apparently, milord General Zakaria has an interesting memory in there somewhere.

[Jamie]

5.00

[blue]

Jamie, that's fine. If you'd waited chapters and chapters before a character was killed off, then I might be more upset, but they are fictional characters, after all.

Although I haven't posted or published anything, I know from what I have written that a lot of oneself goes into writing the characters, even the villains, and the story must be a well-told tale.

I've heard authors talk about the characters coming to life and writing the story themselves, metaphorically.

Keep up the good work. I think people often don't know what to say. It seems like there's always a group who think they'll sound foolish by replying, and there are always those who are big fans or big non-fans.

Oh, and even 10% is a big number for responses to anything, so take heart.

[Tragic Rabbit]

Hi Blue,

Once again thanx for the post. I haven?t gotten many posts or e-mails? so I?m not totally sure of the overall reaction to this story by both the members and general readership of the Awesome Dude site. Dude has been kind enough to make some nice comments in his weekly posts and indicates he is ?hooked,? but again when I originally started this little epic I never intended for it to see the light of day. I?m still rather chagrined at myself for posting it. I guess I?m calling it a ?personal experiment.?

I didn't realize that you hadn't had many comments so I'm posting mine. In fact, I just read it on the Dude's suggestion. I love the boys, the setting, the description, the storyline. Boys with wings, wonderful! I like all of them very much and look forward to reading more of their adventures. The wing descriptions are fantastic, very detailed, very lovely.

One thing (and no, I'm not a sex pervert, ask anyone<G>), if they are a 'mating pair', when do they mate? Do they have cycles of sexuality like the kemmer of the characters in Left Hand of Darkness? I mean, one or two chaste kisses seems a little harsh and not much to go on for the poor embattled boys. <wink> You don't have to DESCRIBE the sex to have it happen, For the Love of Pete has NO descriptions of sex but they HAVE sex. I'm teasing, a little bit, because I'm told you don't write sex, ever. But...'mating pair'? Do they go into a Vulcan type seven year rutting season, perhaps? <grin>

The story reminds me of a lot of adventure stories like Earthsea, Lord of the Rings, Left Hand of Darkness, some stuff by Alan Dean Foster and by Terry Brooks. Are you going on with this and, if yes, where are you going? Also, when did you begin this story? Why do you wish you hadn't put it online?

Kisses...

TR

[blue]

I haven't gotten to the latest chapters yet. My schedule's nuts.

I just wanted to mention a line from Richard Marx' new song that reminded me of TSOI. "I've always had wings, but I wasn't ready to fly." Oh, heck, here you go, the whole lyrics:

Artist: Richard Marx

Song: Ready to Fly

I've been trying to open the door

To the secret of my destiny

And every new road I think is the one

Seems to lead right back to me

I've looked for a way to be wiser

A way to be strong

Now I see the answer was hiding

In me all along

Chorus:

And I'm ready to fly

Over the sun

Like a rocket to heaven

And I'm ready to soar

Right through the sky

Never dreamed I'd find something to lift me so high

I've always had wings

But I wasn't ready to fly

Restless, hopeless, and misunderstood

Like so many others I know

So busy tryin' to keep holdin' on

When I should've been letting go

I was given the gift to find it

The spirit inside me

But I never really imagined

All I could be

Chorus:

And I'm ready to fly

Over the sun

Like a rocket to heaven

And I'm ready to soar

Right through the sky

Never dreamed I'd find something to lift me so high

I've always had wings

But I wasn't ready to fly

The answer to all of my wonder

Was right in my hands

Now it's time for me to discover

All that I am

Chorus:

And I'm ready to fly

Over the sun

Like a rocket to heaven

And I'm ready to soar

Right through the sky

Never dreamed I'd find something to lift me so high

I've always had wings

But I wasn't ready to fly

I've always had wings

Now I'm finally ready to fly

[blue]

Whatever they do as a "mating pair" is up to them, I suppose. I wonder if it's in flight? The wings and ability to fly might make for some interesting courtship and foreplay, at least.

-----

I'm reminded some of Andre Norton's writing, too, the sense of a group of companions on an adventure, with future and past elements and science and magic intermingled.

[Jamie]

6.00

[Thirdeye]

Love this story. Very smart concept and keeps you thinking and asking questions.