Expletives

[Bruin Fisher]

Hi all,

I don't use expletives in everyday speech at all, which may surprise those who have read my stories, since I have been known to use them where (I hope) appropriate in my work.

I recognise that there are occasions where 'bad words' are necessary, either because a protagonist is in extremis and no other words will do or because a character would habitually use such language and it would be false to deprive him of his vocabulary.

I don't, of course, have a problem with other writers using expletives - but here's my question: is it okay to have the narrator use expletives? In some circumstances the narrator is also a character in the story, but when the story is narrated impersonally it grates on me when I read things like 'He trod carefully because the pavement was fucking icy'.

As an extension of this, I've noticed some writers (not among the august company at AD, I hasten to add) tend to narrate in the vernacular of the protagonists which seems like a novice error to me.

Discuss - on one side of a sheet of paper....

[Cole Parker]

If it's an omnipotent narrator, i.e., one not involved personally in the story, I would think he'd have no business having an opinion on anything. Cuss words are of course opinionated.

I suppose the closest the unseen and un-introduced storyteller could come to having an opinion would be writing something like: George felt angry because, as everyone knows, uninvited corrections of one's language are inappropriate, rude and insensitive. There, the narrator is expressing an opinion, but tossing it off as someone else's.

So I agree with you: throwing in a cuss word or two is entirely unprofessional.

C

[DesDownunder]

[...]

Discuss - on one side of a sheet of paper....

Okay, I can do that...

I agree with you and Cole.

Of course there can be an exceptional exception.

I remember a story, not really all that memorable as evidenced by the fact that I can't recall its title, which had a section in it similar to what follows;

Omnipotent Narrator:

They all gathered outside the café, Everyone was there.

Today, they would determine there future hopes and discuss their dreams.

Suddenly a huge truck careered into the small crowd killing everyone in this fucking story...

-- Sorry folks, just letting off a bit of steam...back to the story, no truck, no deaths.

Talk about destroying the suspension of disbelief!

[Cole Parker]

But that does bring up an interesting furtherance of the discussion. When is it appropriate for the omnipotent narrator to begin speaking directly to the reader... if ever?

C

[JamesSavik]

I use expletives like I use certain spices in my cooking. Garlic and red pepper are great but a little bit goes a long way.

Too much can be overwhelming. It takes just the right blend to get the flavor that you are looking for.

[Rutabaga]

But that does bring up an interesting furtherance of the discussion. When is it appropriate for the omnipotent narrator to begin speaking directly to the reader... if ever?

C

I think it was very much more the custom for an omnipotent narrator to speak directly to the readers in the 19th century. I can't point to prose/novel examples off the top of my head, but I immediately think of Lord Byron in Don Juan frequently engaging in humorous asides and observations for the reader. I simply believe that this style of writing has fallen out of fashion. It might be fun to resurrect it on occasion.

R

[Paul]

"Well #$*!*#*, that there old inner tube just blowed up right in Jim Bob's face."

"Imagine that, Jim Bob thought after he picked himself up off the ground. The #$*!*#! thing had blown up right in his face."

In the first a voice is being established for the narrator; we can tell there's a close cultural relationship to the character.

In the second, the narrator is paraphrasing the thoughts of the character, yet doing so in an objective, if explicit, way.

So I think it comes down to how you want your narrator to come across and what kind of relationship, if any, there is between the narrator and the characters and/or story/situation.

[Cole Parker]

I disagree. In both your examples, the character is the one using the swear words. If the narrator tells us what the character is thinking or saying, it's still the character who's thinking or saying it, not the narrator.

[Paul]

I disagree. In both your examples, the character is the one using the swear words. If the narrator tells us what the character is thinking or saying, it's still the character who's thinking or saying it, not the narrator.

I think I confused things by using quotation marks; ignore them. Neither example is character dialog; in both it's the narrator speaking.

[Cynus]

One of my favorite articles that I think has bearing on this discussion. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-proper-use-of-profanity/

My favorite line from this article: "Let us admit that technical perfection was left behind the moment we decided to start swearing, and work with what we’ve got."

[larkin]

Explitives, in a manner, describes the character through their dialog. Explitives can also be a descriptive modifier.

I think they are important.

[FreeThinker]

It depends on the character and the circumstances. If it's in the personality of the character to do so, then so be it. The narrator in third person viewpoint should not, though, if he or she is not a character in the story. The omniscient narrator is neutral and profanities would violate that neutrality. An exception might be if the narrator is a participant in the story simply by narrating, even if he never makes an appearance in the story in any other capacity.

[larkin]

It depends on the character and the circumstances. If it's in the personality of the character to do so, then so be it. The narrator in third person viewpoint should not, though, if he or she is not a character in the story. The omniscient narrator is neutral and profanities would violate that neutrality. An exception might be if the narrator is a participant in the story simply by narrating, even if he never makes an appearance in the story in any other capacity.

Agreed especially concerning a omniscient narrator. It can also be like turning up the volume. If you do it too much, it is no longer effective. The rule should always be authenticity.

[colinian]

Most of my stories have teens as protagonists and characters. Teens use expletives, but not to excess. However... in my story Bad Boy Gone Good the antagonist, Pete, uses lots of expletives.

For example, in chapter 11 he's served with a Permanent Restraining Order. His reaction is this expletive-laden dialogue: “Fucking shit asshole bitch process server brings me a Perm’nent Restraining Order. I’ll fuckin’ kill her!” It fits his character.

Colin

[ChrisR]

A narrator could use profanity if he had initially established that he was a story teller, particularly if it was a somewhat profanity-laden story already. The teller could well be building a sort of ambiance surrounding his characters.

For example:

"Holy shit!" yelled Bobby as he fell from his horse.

Sure enough, he'd landed square on a wet cow pie. But what the hell could he do now, what with the sheriff's posse hot on his heels?

[Nigel Gordon]

Use them if you know why you are using them, otherwise leave them out.

[Graeme]

The original post was not about characters using expletives, but the narrator. I think the only times it's appropriate for the narrator to use expletives are:

• If it's a first person POV story.
• If the narrating in that style is established early in the story and is maintained throughout. The sort of style I'm thinking of is that of Kurt Vonnegut or Douglas Adams. Their style is that you know that they're talking to the reader from the point of view of an unknown person, rather than an impersonal narrator. As such, the narrator could be considered to be some sort of (twisted) extra character in the story, and hence allowed to swear

Otherwise, no, I don't think the narrator should swear. Characters swear as appropriate

[Joe]

In An Operational Necessity, Gwyn Griffin uses the "F" word one time with tremendous dramatic effect. The characters, at this point in the novel, were sailors, who, in the real world, use expletives as if they were punctuation marks; but he told the story brilliantly without them.

I'd say that characters should use them sparingly, for dramatic effect, and the narrator ought not.

[Gee Whillickers]

One of the best pieces of writing advice I came across was this: Never forget that you, the writer, are not the narrator. You're the writer, and the narrator is fictional. The narrator is part of the story, and the writer chooses what kind of narrator that story is going to have, which can change the tone and impact of the story to a large degree. It is part of the story process, part of character development.

Therefore it is perfectly reasonable to think a story could have a narrator that uses a lot of spicy language. It depends of the effect being sought.

[Cole Parker]

I think it's that last bit that's important: it depends on the effect being sought. That's the key throughout. All of the story should be told supporting that little tidbit of truth. Yet it's so easy to forget.

C

[JamesSavik]

From a book I recently read: A sergeant is not at all impressed with the language of one of his subordinates.

"F-ing is not a comma, despite the way you use it!"

[Pedro]

Many years ago a former acquaintance alleged he witnessed the following when held at traffic lights.

Workman in trench next to waiting traffic starts digging and breaks his shovel. Throwing the pieces in the trench he stomps off with this tirade:

"The f...ing f...ers f...ing f...ed, f... It!"

[Lugnutz]

A new t-shirt that I got from my brother years ago that says "Fuck You You Fucking Fuck". Wonder why I have yet to wear it?

[Gee Whillickers]

Many years ago a former acquaintance alleged he witnessed the following when held at traffic lights.

Workman in trench next to waiting traffic starts digging and breaks his shovel. Throwing the pieces in the trench he stomps off with this tirade:

"The f...ing f...ers f...ing f...ed, f... It!"

That's fucking hilarious.