Tragic Rabbit Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Elecivil, incomparable author of Leaves and Lunatics, begins a new serialized novel at AD with chapter one of LAIKA, the story of Brandon Collier, a friendless teen with matching socks and a quirky, popular older brother. As with L&L, Elecivil's trademark understated humor and utterly charming characters will instantly engage your interest. Chapter One introduces the brothers who skip school to pick up 'Pete?s cousin?s mom?s friend?s son from Curson' a.k.a. Nick of the enormous, deep brown eyes. Read Laika, Chapter One, by Elecivil: http://www.awesomedude.com/stories/Laika/l...a_chapter_1.htm Link to comment
JamesSavik Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 I just read chapter 1 and it did exactly what the first chapter of any good story should do: it made me laugh, got me interested in the characters and it left me hungry for more. I'm glad to see that EleCivil has started another story. I've missed his work since the conclusion of L&L. The new story looks like it is off to a good start and I have high hopes. :geek: (JS & Boo) Link to comment
petefromoz Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 I was deeply saddened when EleCivil said he was finishing Leaves and Lunatics - it was a glorious story, and I didn't think it was possible he could top it with his promised new work. I was wrong. Absolutely, utterly, profoundly, staggeringly wrong. And I'm delighted beyond words that I was. This is a gorgeously funny, charming, witty piece of work. It's without doubt the best thing I've read from him - it's the sort of thing I can only wish I was capable of writing. And that's just the first chapter... Do yourself a favour, set some time aside, and take a look at Laika. It'll make your day. :D Link to comment
Merkin Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 What he said. Elecivil has a gift for characterization and this first chapter of Laika is a prime example. The brothers are absolutely wonderful, and the car stuff is just right. And of course we can't wait to find out more about the boy with the big eyes. What a lovely kick-off for what I hope is a loooong story... James Merkin Link to comment
blue Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 Too funny and too cool! 8) OK, I can't wait for more. EleCivil, your sense of humor and great characterization are in top form again. :excited: Bran, huh? What, no fiber jokes from his big brother? (You can use that if you wanna, EleCivil.) The brothers are great. The line about his hair curling up into commas interrupting his eyebrows...heh, the writer-editor and typographer in me loved that. The pirate gag, very good. The paragraph about him being a pessimist, justifying it because the first thing anyone does is, the doc flips him upside down and hits him on the ass.... Heheheh. I'm waiting to hear about the picture frame too. (Nice touch, that.) ...Come to think of it, there must be some explanation for the title, "Laika," too. (Another nickname for Nicolai, maybe? I'll have to look that up.) Very noticeable big brown eyes, and he wonders why he's never noticed any of his friends' eyes. Yep, he's gonna notice other nice things about Nick too. I wonder how Bran's bro and how Nick are going to react... for that matter, it could be interesting how Brandon reacts too.... Looking forward to it. -- Glad to see the new story! Link to comment
Trab Posted October 24, 2005 Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 Great story. It grips you right away, is very humorous, and makes you want more. :D Link to comment
EleCivil Posted October 24, 2005 Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 Wow, thanks for all the feedback, guys! I got the idea for this story when I realized that I hadn't worn matching socks in over two years (though not for the sake of revolution). From that, I got the opening scene, and everything else just grew from there. Link to comment
Naiilo Posted October 26, 2005 Report Share Posted October 26, 2005 Somewhere along my education, I remember a "Laika" from slavic mythology, not that I remember where to look anymore... Good job EleCivil. -N Link to comment
petefromoz Posted December 4, 2005 Report Share Posted December 4, 2005 The good news: There's a second chapter up. The totally awesome news: It's as good as the first one. 8) Stop wasting your time reading this message and go and read chapter 2 of Laika right now. Trust me - it's worth your while. :D Link to comment
Tanuki Racoon Posted December 4, 2005 Report Share Posted December 4, 2005 The good news: There's a second chapter up.The totally awesome news: It's as good as the first one. 8) I'm sorry, but I'll have to totally disagree with you. I think the second chapter is better than the first :P (I would like to beg that future chapters stop using blue text on a blue background. My eyes hurt.) Link to comment
dude Posted December 4, 2005 Report Share Posted December 4, 2005 You are probably right Wibby. That bit with the boys' dad and the knives was priceless! Link to comment
JamesSavik Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 Elecivil's work is consistent: consistently funny, consistently interesting and consistently great! =D> Someone filthy rich needs to give this guy a huge GRANT so he can focus on writing! Link to comment
TalonRider Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 The good news: There's a second chapter up.The totally awesome news: It's as good as the first one. 8) I'm sorry' date=' but I'll have to totally disagree with you. [/b'] I think the second chapter is better than the first :p (I would like to beg that future chapters stop using blue text on a blue background. I found this story to be good myself. I have to agree with WBMS that the blue on blue was a little hard to read. Normally this isn't a problem for me as I prefer to read from a hard copy instead of a screen. But since the printer I use for the laptop is a little slow, I read from the laptop instead. What I did was highlight the text which changed the color and made it readable. Jan Link to comment
blue Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 The Story Hey, great chapter. Uh-huh, instant friendship, almost instant crush, and... a very true-to-life monkey wrench (or two or three) to throw into the works. I get the feeling Brandon is going to be almost as surprised as anybody else when he figures out just what it is he feels for Nick. Whether Nick feels the same, and how he feels about that, could also be problematic. The "art forms," the explanation for Dixie's nickname, and the "Cursives" -- heh-heh. I'll be over here, rooting for Brandon and Nick, and eagerly looking forward to the next chapter. Hooray! The Graphics and Colors: What's bugging people is the size of the "bubbles" and the lack of strong contrast, in relation to the blue text. It makes it look "busy" and harder to read. Solutions: darken the text, maybe lighten the graphic a little, and possibly make it smaller, or just in the margin, with the text area a lighter blue. -- It's solvable while still keeping the look and feel that's wanted. Link to comment
dude Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 I have to agree with WBMS that the blue on blue was a little hard to read. I am diabetic. As such, I suffer from retinopathy. I have used my eye problems as a guide to creating the AwesomeDude pages... figuring if I could read the text, anyone can. I'm sorry... but part of the 'thing' about AwesomeDude is it's presentation. It was designed to be read online. It is also compatible with those who prefer to print out and read elsewhere. It is interesting that I have not received compaints from any of our younger readers, for whom -after all- this site is targeted. Note: The final design of the pages/presentation of Laika is not final. Frankly, I am waiting to see the story develop to see what the main thrust of it is. It is hard to select visuals based on what I have read in the first two chapters. Link to comment
dude Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 There I have posted it in black and white... when all you ocatagenrerians have finished with the first two chapters... let me know so I can change it back for the general populace. :p Link to comment
Graeme Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 I'll just say that I didn't have any real problem reading it as it was.... I liked chapter 2 as well, and I'm now waiting to see what happens next. Graeme :) Link to comment
Paul Posted December 6, 2005 Report Share Posted December 6, 2005 Could be a browser default text size thing. When I zoomed to 150% I could read it OK. And I'm only 350-1/2 years old. Link to comment
TalonRider Posted December 6, 2005 Report Share Posted December 6, 2005 I wasn't complaining about it. I was merely pointing out one solution for readers who did find it difficult to read. Link to comment
EleCivil Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Thanks, everybody! :D I've got finals next week, so the next chapter won't be done until some time after that. But not too long after that. Link to comment
petefromoz Posted December 30, 2005 Report Share Posted December 30, 2005 ... and there was much rejoicing. Great character building, an ear for dialogue, and a wit to die for. All this and more in a tightly-written package that continues to be an utter joy to read. I can only hope that EleCivil will continue meandering to alternate mandolins, camouflage paint and all, for a long time to come. The world is a much finer place for it. :D Link to comment
ube licker Posted January 2, 2006 Report Share Posted January 2, 2006 I like this story... and I think I'm falling in love with Mark. He's witty, eccentric and everything I look for in a guy LOL. I don't usually like "cynical" characters but Brandon has a certain charm about him. Can't wait to find out more about Nick. Oh and the travel games' joke was pretty hilarious. Looking forward to chapter 4 :) Link to comment
blue Posted January 2, 2006 Report Share Posted January 2, 2006 Thoroughly enjoyed chapter 3. Realization: There's bound to be a nickname joke involving fiber and muffins somewhere along the way. Brandon -> Bran -> Muffins -> Fiber. Oh, quit groaning, you know you got it. ;) The characters and the humor are unique. I can't wait for more. Link to comment
Paul Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 The characters and the humor are unique. I can't wait for more. Looks like I might wind up liking it even more than "Leaves and Lunatics," which is saying something. This boy has a real gift. Link to comment
petefromoz Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 ... and we're four for four. Yet another (appropriately) awesome chapter from the seriously talented EleCivil. An absolute and utter joy to read. Go - read it now, or else you'll be utterly lost when everyone starts talking about Weasels... :D Link to comment
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