Jump to content
Registering As A Forum User? Read This Important Message!
Help Keep AwesomeDude Online! Donate Here.

Camy

AD Author
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    4,202

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    3

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by Camy

  1. Camy

    12 ish hours to NaNoWriMo!

    By Camy,

    Okay, so I have just under 12 hours to get my act together.
    I have an outline of sorts, which is all well and dandy, but I wanted the whole thing nailed down. I wanted to know exactly who was going to be doing what to whom and when -- to the nth degree. Fat chance. I should know myself by now.
    I do, however, have a title: 'Worth.' A good and worthy title I'm sure you'll agree.
    Good luck to everyone who's taking part!

    Camy
  2. Camy

    Aids for storytelling

    By Camy,

    I've been thinking a lot about writing. Today I came across two bits of 'advice' that I found yonks ago and put in a box. Where I originally found them I have no idea. However, as they are worth pondering I thought I'd post them. Here's the first:
    Eight basic necessities to create a story - probably, methinks, sword and sorcery. Though they do adapt.
    1) one Hero
    2) one Villain
    3) one object they both desire
    4) one journey
    5) a couple of sidekicks (generally not more than 3)
    6) one wisened mentor (maybe a sidekick)
    7) one valuable (magical?) item that keeps getting mislaid
    8) one prophesy (or two that contradict)
    The second is a graphic that, sadly, I can't attribute. My bad.

    I hope this helps!
  3. Camy
    Like most people - or some people, anyway - I have been searching, nay, questing most of my life for the perfect religion. I've been hunting a religion that was a fit for me.
    I grew up in the Church of England (Henry VIII's personal (and consequently England's - it's nice to be a King) religion. Henry was miffed because the Pope refused to let him get divorced when he didn't want to off yet another wife). But as religions go C of E wasn't right.... Yes, there were nice hymns. Yes, I was in the choir for almost a month (which enabled me to be first in the queue for lunch). But no, it wasn't perfect.
    Catholisism I didn't try - too many strange frocked men wanting private time. Scientology was okay for the first week, but then they intimated that it would be a good idea if I signed my life over to them and, besides that, they wanted money!
    So onto Buddhism - via all the other major world beliefs. But which one? Zen? Too Zen. Nicherin Shoshu, where my best friend lays his hat, is... well, I tried it, but t'was not to be.
    It was awful. I was beginning to lose faith.
    And then I found Dudeism!
    It was an obvious fit, seeeing as how I hang out at AwesomeDude. But no, Dudeism has nothing to do with our Dude. There is (shock-horror) another Dude. And I have joined the flock!

    I am proud to announce I am now ordained as a priest in The Church Of The Latter Day Dude. But what does this really mean, Camy? I hear you ask. Well, being an official Dudeist priest, I can perform weddings in most states in the U.S.A.. So, if any of you are looking to get hitched you know where to come (as it were).
    It's good to be a Dudeist.
  4. Camy

    NaNo No No.

    By Camy,

    I didn't make it to the 50,000 this year, sadly. I know I shouldn't be peeved with myself, or miffed, or standing in disgrace in the corner: but I am - a little (not the standing in the corner bit). I don't like failing. It irks.
    It also irks that 50,000 words isn't actually an awful lot. If I were serious about becoming a writer I should be churning that in a month - with or without NaNoWriMo.
    Bum. I've been 'hoist by my own petard,' stupid git I am. ;)
    Ah well [snort], there's always next year....
  5. Camy

    It's begun.

    By Camy,

    Oddly, and even though I've been desperately racking my brain (shows what a weeny one I have) for ideas, AND I have ideas written down, I have not the vaguest inkling what I'm going to write. Except, of course, an occasional blog entry cursing my stupidity for even mentioning it in the first place.
    Oh GAWD! What on earth shall I do (he says, tears streaming down his feathered chops).
  6. Camy

    This Thursday!

    By Camy,

    This Thursday, after a month and a week of waiting, we finally get Broadband switched on. And, supposedly, it's between 5 and 7Mb - which, considering it was 0.5MB at our last place, is like giving a kid a Porche.
  7. Camy

    Back online

    By Camy,

    Having moved to a place without a phone line it took an age and a half to get that sorted, and a deal longer to get ADSL up and running. Now, I'm back online and it feels ... mmmmmmmm yummy scrumptious!
    We're a five minute walk from the beach. Sadly it isn't sand, but it does have water which is quite an important pre-requisite for a beach. The cats like it, too. A boon, 'cause having sad cats ain't where it's at, at all. AND the garden is small which make mowing the lawn a doddle. I like doddles.
    Ave.
    Camy
  8. Camy

    Debt

    By Camy,

    Joy! We had our budget yesterday. Apparently, those 'in charge' have borrowed - and intend to go on borrowing - an awful lot of dosh. Apparently, the debt equates to over ?17,000 for every man woman and child in the UK. Apparently ....
    Sadly, I voted for the inept cretins - though (in my defence) at the time the prime minister wasn't a man with despotic megalomania, and the Chancellor didn't have Caterpillars for eybrows and an Adams' family hairdo.
    Never again!
    I intend to declare independence. The Royalesque Bank of Emu will be opening its doors shortly. Investors most welcome.
  9. Camy

    Addicted

    By Camy,

    If you have an addictive personality it's unwise - nay foolish - to start doing anything that is ... erm ... addictive. Obviously. Drugs: been there, done that. Alcohol - though I consider it a drug as much as anything else - the same. Okay, sure, I have the occasional brandy in a cup of coffee, and I've picked the wrong day to give up sniffing glue, but that's my lot. Honestly.
    Until, that is, a week ago, and I found WoW.
    World of Warcraft is ... well, it's bloody brilliant!
    Camy
  10. Camy

    Cars Grrrrrr.

    By Camy,

    In the UK we have a yearly test for cars called an MOT. In years past, although it was illegal, frowned upon, and you risked getting a big slap, it was not that big a deal if your cars MOT had expired. Now, what with computers and the 1984 Big Brother mentality, you risk severe doo-doo if you don't have one.
    Today, my baby Renault Clio failed hers. *sob, wail, gnash, howl*
    So I get home and look at the failure sheet (you have 10 days to put the problems right and have a re-test).
    'It's not so bad' I'm thinking. 'A few bulbs, a bit of exhaust pipe, front brakes and a tyre.' Then I realise that because of the exhaust pipe it hasn't had the dreaded emissions test.
    The emissions test (minds out of gutter, please) is a nightmare. If you have the most perfect car in the world and it fails this test, then you have to scrap it (and kill yourself, too).
    So, I'm in a catch 22, and panicking! If I fork out and have the exhaust fixed (which - according to the nice man at the garage - could be as much as ?350) it might still fail emissions due to the engine ... and there are still the tyre and the bulbs and the brakes and etc, etc, etc.
    Then ...
    ... a friend phones up. He's got a Citroen Belingo with 2 months MOT and he's going to give it to me for ... FREE!!!!
    It needs a bit of work, but as he was about to have it scrapped, it's a win-win all around.
    Oh, chuffed and lucky am I!
  11. Camy

    Backup!

    By Camy,

    Recently I've been somewhat miffed.
    The reason being: we lost a hard drive with a months work on it. It was a brand new hard drive and was immediately replaced, but that doesn't replace the music.
    Still, on the bright side we've decided it was 'the mysterious finger of God' that fucked us up, and the work we do now will, obviously, be much, much better. We've decided this because otherwise I'd have to kill myself for being a total arse, and frankly, I feint at the sight of blood - especially my own.
    So, folks, backup! Do it, don't think about it, just do it. You know it makes sense.
    Camy the miffed.
  12. Camy

    More Sunday babbling

    By Camy,

    ... because it's Sunday, which means I haven't blogged for a week. Not that that's anything to write home about: I've not a lot to say. However, now I shall vent as I'm annoyed, and might well soon be ill. Why? Because I happen to like cold coffee and hate flys.
    Obvious then it is to cover one's coffee mug: and if not, at least check for alien invaders before drinking from it. Obvious to all but me, sadly.
    A mouth full of coffee (nice) and a large fly (not so nice) is enough to send even the sanest Emu over the edge, and trundling down the hill of despair and insanity. Especially if the only sympathy said Emu receives is rampant laughter.
    -----
    I don't rave about bands a lot. I've no idea why. Perhaps it's because I don't think there are many brilliant new bands out there. Anyway, now I've found one. 'Elbow' are really, really good. And I don't say that lightly. Not that I think their name rawks. Far from it. It's a bit meh, really. Or, to put it in stronger terms: their name sucks. BUT, their music is sublime!
    They are the best thing I've heard in an age and a half, and their album 'The Seldom Seen Kid' is just Mmmm! Check them out if you've a mind ... or even if you don't.
    http://www.elbow.co.uk/

    - on You Tube
    - on You Tube-----
    Housework really pisses me off. It's such an unmitigated waste of time (I know you can meditate while hoovering, but it's damn dangerous when doing the stairs). So, I've been pondering the idea of selling my un-made bed. If Tracy Emin can sell her's to Charles Saatchi for ?250,000 - then surely mine must be worth something. It's got lots of 'things' hers hasn't, and I'd even sign a manuscript (perchance I ever finish one) and leave it under the pillows.
    So, umm, any offers would be most welcome.
    Yours, ever hopeful,
    Camy.
    - edited to fix the link to 'The Bones of You' - Thanks Des.
  13. Camy

    Uber stressed

    By Camy,

    I'm stressed. Stressed to the point of twanging like a human harp - except without the nice chilled music.
    Another 48 hours will see me either beamishly copacetic, or in a damn nut house. I Pray (or I would if I wasn't agnostic) it's the former ... 'cause I've never really fancied a straight jacket. Too dashed uncomfortable, don't you know.
    Pshaw.
  14. Camy

    Character Names, etc.

    By Camy,

    I'm not very good with inventing unique character names. Appalling actually, no idea why, just one of those things. So, as no matter what I do I get a lot of spam, I came up with the idea of using the senders names. Now, some of these really are unique, otherwise they'd get caught by my good friend and colleague: 'Spammy', the spam filter.
    I keep them in a file called ... erm *shuffles about looking embarrassed* 'good names.txt'
    Here are today's:
    Carson Richmond
    Jarek Looman
    Jaramillo Camille
    Isabella Russell
    Luella Conn
    Stuller Schlund
    Allie Jorgensen
    Vonfeldt Merriam
    Guillermo Scruggs
    Colville Carrigan
    Gullace Riback
    Hordei Africanthropus
    Expect to see them in a story, sooner or later. Word.
    If the cat would get off the desk I might be able to post this in a timely fashion.
    "Timely," she says, meowling. "There's nothing you've ever done that's timely."
    "Yeah, right," I reply. "Grub? Litter refilling duties? Opening and closing the back door a thousand times a day?"
    "Yes, but you love me, don't you?" She says, looking like butter wouldn't melt. "And whose fault is it you don't fit a Cat flap. Purrrr?"
    "You're a tart, you know that don't you?" I say. But she's fallen fast asleep ....
    Cats. Who'd have one?
    Emus are another matter entirely!
    The last chapter of Seraph is not making me happy. It's not making me happy, because it won't ... work. *sighs* 'Bathtime', on the other hand, is nearly finished. As are 'Tiatrather', 'Probisher', and 'Berkeley Tales'.
    Enough.
    Ave.
    Camy
  15. Camy

    I want to cry

    By Camy,

    When I was young, until I was about twelve or thirteen, I used to cry a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. At the drop of a hat. I don't think I ever cried infront of my peers and friends, but at home I'd be howling at the unfairness of whatever it was that was unfair at that moment in time.
    Now I can't, and I WANT TO. Badly.
    There must have been a pivotal moment in my life that caused me to stop. But I can't think of one specifically. I went to boarding school (where you'd rather cut your leg off than be caught crying) and I'm British which means that I'm probably genetically repressed, but I want it, and I need it, and yet I still can't.
    God is that unfair.
    </self pity>
  16. Camy
    I guess it's time to come clean and admit that no matter how hard I try I am an inveterate pantser. It's one of the reasons I mainly write short stories and not long and rambling novelesque things.
    All that seems to remain from my outline are the locations and characters, their names and their descriptions. Everything else has gone out of the window. Good or bad? I have no idea, and don't care so long as I get to the end of the first draft: then I can fix what's bust.
    I think I'm enjoying 'Worth' a lot more than I enjoyed either of the two that came in previous Novembers. Part of it is that there are a lot of us taking part this year. All of which means precisely nothing - except now I've said it I'll probably end up hating the thing and giving up - not!
    Onwards and upwards!
    ---
    I HATE days like this. It's bleak, grey, and drizzling. I came to the conclusion a while ago that I suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It's a sad, sad situation (thanks Elton) so with the aid of Amazon I bought a thing called a GoLite M2. It's the latest toy on the block for sad hypochondriac pantsers, and I've had it for a little over two weeks, now. Umm, and I think it's working!
    Yay me!

  17. Camy
    I don't get ill a lot, so I'm a really bad patient. I know it. I know it like I know the sun rises in the afternoon and sets when it feels like it. Also I'm told 'you're a bad patient' a lot when I'm ill, so it must be true. And who was it that first decided chicken soup was the panacea of all ills? Whoever it was needs to be ... severely reprimanded. Probably Florence Nightingales uncle - who was on his uppers and had a chicken farm.
    Fu-Fu-Fu-Flu is not what I was expecting the last time I smooched M. God, I love smooching M. It's just so ... nice! Hmm. Nice isn't the best descriptor. Nice is a bit lame, really. Fantabulous comes closer to the truth of it. Anyway, I've got it and he hasn't, which strikes me as being just a little unfair. Of course I can't prove he gave it to me. I could have got it at Sainsburys, or at any of the shops I've been in, but as I don't go around kissing cashiers at the shops, my bet is M.
    What flu gives me is time to write. 'Ravelled Lives' is finished and nearly edited, and I'm tweaking with 'The First Day' and 'Sancho Shima NaNo', so they might be up before Christmas, too. The very last short from November's insanity is half done, and needs more than a smidgeon of work, as does 'Worth'. Neither are going to see the light of day until they're ready.
    So that's me. ARRRRCHOOOOOOO!
    Humph. *splutter - cough - sneeze*
    Ave y'all.
    Camy
  18. Camy

    Once I coveted a Sony Reader

    By Camy,

    The idea of customer service and 'satisfaction' in the UK sucks. There, I've said it.
    Like a big kid I fell in lust with the idea of getting a Sony Reader. It's not that I can afford one. It's just that I've got a credit card, and I haven't gone mental with it for a while.
    So, on Saturday M and I schlepped into the local Branch of Waterstones. Waterstones is supposedly the UK's biggest chain of book shops. They have a deal with Sony to sell their 'Readers', and a dinky site to flog eBooks.
    "Do you have any Sony Readers left?" I pant, with eyes attractively on stalks, and fondling my plastic.
    "Yes," the po-faced sloth behind the counter finally puts his paper down, and answers. "several. Do you want to buy one?"
    "Maybe, but I'd like to see it working first."
    "Ah." He nods sagely. "There's a display over there." He points, and takes a breath.
    "Great!" I say, about to walk over to it and play.
    "But the display model has stopped working."
    "Oh," I stop, and my lower lip begins to quiver.
    "You can look. It's just that it doesn't work.
    "Not a lot of use then, is it?" M says acerbically.
    "I suppose not." The sloth picks up his paper as we walk over to the display.
    I decide the Reader is aesthetically beautiful, and rather pleasing, as I prod at its buttons, hoping that maybe it'll magically fire up. It doesn't.
    M starts to get annoyed. I know the signs. Unfortunately, a young and helpful Saturday sales girl doesn't.
    "Nice, isn't it?"
    "It's not working." M states the obvious with such gravitas and disdain I wonder why the young girl doesn't turn tail and flee.
    "Umm ... no." She says, still in helpful mode. She frowns, then brightens up. "It worked for an hour this morning, then stopped. Oddly the same thing has happened at several of our other branches."
    "But you have them for sale?"
    "Oh yes!" She says brightly.
    "Couldn't you put a new one on display, then?"
    "Oh no, we're not allowed to. But I'm sure it'll be working on Monday!"
    It wasn't. I went back and it was still broken ... which has rather put me off.
    Now, I'm thinking of coveting a BeBook.
  19. Camy
    I like blog categories. I've just created a new one called 'Waffley Truth' which is ... umm ... pretty much what it says. In fact as it covers such a multitude of sins, I think I'm falling in love with it. I used to use 'Claptrapish' and 'off the rails' a lot, but 'Waffley Truth is now definitely number one. Numero uno. Bilingual me.
    I'm working (jolly, jolly hard) to finish last years NaNoWriMo novel before I have to start on this years one. Actually, it's rather good, even though I do say so myself. It's good for a number of reasons, but the main one is that it's almost finished. Yay me.
    M wound me up something rotten. He told me he'd been offered a flat near London. I felt my lower lip begin to quiver, felt the prickling of tears behind the eyes - we were on the beach at the time and it wasn't the wind. Then he told me he wouldn't leave, and all was suddenly right with the world. Git.
    After reading Bruin's excellent 'Boarding School' series I felt it incumbent of me to write about what happens in the holidays to those who go to boarding school. I dug around in the old memory drive - it's more like a large and rather dented dustbin - and came up with 'Simon and the chimney stack'. As true a tale as you're ever likely to read. Hmm, yah. Anyway, it's in the Flash Fiction forum, which seems, sadly, to have gone a tad quiet. Feel free to write and submit some stories of your own.
    Ave. I'm away to my pit, perchance to dream of all sorts of rather nice things.
    Camy
    PS if anybody knows how to import a file from a canon camcorder into Final Cut and keep the audio in sync I'd love to know how.
  20. Camy
    You wander along thinking life is almost perfect (I say almost, as perfection is really impossible) and then ... shit happens.
    One of my oldest and dearest on-line friends has just left the net, and I'm gutted. Gutted because they've gone, and also because I had no inkling - not the vaguest idea - that anything was wrong ... and I don't like it. The foundations of my 'world' have been rocked: there's been an on-line earthquake.
    But, as has been pointed out, change is inevitable. I might not like it, but 'that's life'. In the words of Gloria Gaynor "I will survive!"
    The net is a weird place, and investing too much of yourself in it is unhealthy.
    Hey ho. In other news: I've started writing again!
  21. Camy

    The Cats 'n' all.

    By Camy,

    We've been here now for three weeks, and the Cats have just started to get to go out. They love the garden, and especially the 'patio' which heats up in the sun. They seem to like lying on their backs and wait for their tummy's to be rubbed. Jolly sensible I think, and I'm going to do the same the next time M comes over ... provided the neighbours are out.
    The angst involved in letting them out was almost too much. The road at the front of the house, though not a main road, is not Cat friendly - unlike the last place we lived. I've suddenly realized how much I care for their welfare. But the bottom line is that they are not indoor cats, and pragmatically: what will be will be.
    As for me, I'm chilled, and starting to enjoy life again. I've even started to write a new short story - though in my darker moments I wondered if I'd ever write again. The thing is I'm almost sure that writing and music were the only things that kept me sane for the last year or so. And now the stress is over and done with I'm wondering if perhaps I don't need to write or howl ....
    Naaaaa. I like it far too much to give up.
    Oh yeah, we've got a festival gig in July!
    Oh YEAH! I've got a mac! W00T!
  22. Camy

    Ordinary Man

    By Camy,

    Earlier today I was slugging coffee, writing, and occasionally - when I got stuck - picking up the guitar and noodling. Noodling helps me think. Anyway, I ended up penning a ditty. Then - as I don't write music - I made a rough recording.
    Here are the lyrics:
    Ordinary Man
    i am an ordinary man
    i ain't subtle there's no plan
    when I saw you at first
    my heart flipped went berserk
    i think i love you - i think i love you
    you're a man
    wasn't the plan
    'cause i am straight
    let others hate
    'cause i am me
    and you are you
    and does it matter
    who is who
    i think i love you - i think i love you
    i never thought i was strange
    my genes don't need re-arranging
    when we touched in the street
    my body and soul felt complete
    i think i love you - i think i love you
    yet you're a man
    it wasn't the plan
    'cause i am straight
    let others hate
    'cause i am me
    and you are you
    and does it matter
    who is who
    i love you - i love you
    ---
    And here - if anyone's interested - is the rough recording.
  23. Camy

    Pigsticking

    By Camy,

    Today I hate the world.
    Fecking women who drive small Nissans and who think they have the right to drive down the outside of a stationary line of traffic, and then cut in. I might have been vaguely amused if she'd been pretty, or if she'd have been a he, and cute. But nooooo.
    There was a thread in the news forum (which got well out of hand) that strayed into the rights and wrongs of gun control. All I have to say on the matter is that, with fecking Nissan tart, I suffered a serious amount of angst which verged on road rage. Had I had a gun - concealed or not - I might well have used it. Lucky it is I live in the UK. As it was I so so nearly rammed her. I'm normally mild mannered, but today I came very close to losing it.*
    My neighbour's on the list, too. Shan't go there, I've just got my blood pressure back to earth. Git.
    It's lovely weather, so I can't blame my mood on Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm tempted to pack a bag and vanish. If I could morph the cat into a dog I might well, but cats don't like tramping the country: especially if they don't have a hot monitor to lie on top of.
    Hey ho, and life goes on.
    Camy
    * Falling Down
  25. Camy

    Novel approach

    By Camy,

    'Harvest Time' - the novel I was writing for NaNoWriMo - is still unfinished. That's not say I'm not continuing it, it's just that the 'gotta get to 50,000 words or look like a pranny' impetus has gone. Such is life. I've also got other stories to finish too - including 'Bathtime' which I promised Cole an age ago.
    I've sent a short story off to a magazine, and am waiting patiently for the rejection slip. At least this time I didn't send a 'Dark Drama' to a SciFi mag. Duh.
    Cole Parker's 'Bleat Bleat Quack' is quite trying my patience. This bi-weekly posting malarkey is causing no end of angst to my digestion, and until I get to the end I don't think life is going to get back to normal. It also seems that the Raccoon is going to be visiting our fair shores. I've decided to avoid the capital for the duration, and have told my sister to padlock her bins.
    The Hub's new Anthology is now on-line. The theme was 'Voyeur' and there are seven great stories there. Well, six and mine.
    And that's it for now. Hmm.
    Camy

PayPal

Help Keep

AwesomeDude Online

Scan to donate

QR code
×
×
  • Create New...